Yesterday I had my doc appointment -- and yes, I'm still not all-the-way better. I have a terrific doc. I've never felt "on the clock" with him. He's thorough, caring, listens to me and hears between the lines.
So, when he walked in and I started to cry, he sort of "got it." I told him -- "Here I feel safe. I don't have to be the outside Jeanie who has to be happy, hold it together, negotiate the minefields of different personalities every day, and (self-imposed) feels she must be all things to all people. Here I can let go." (I should say, he isn't a therapist -- this is my family doctor, which is all the more to his credit!)
Part of my stress, I know, is work related (have I mentioned how much I hate digital television?), part is worry about the kids and their health, part is this challenging economy, part is still feeling not up to par myself and part is anticipating the holidays which I both adore and which also grab my heart (my dad died in December, shortly before Christmas and one of my aunt's at Thanksgiving).
(I know, I've posted this photo of Dad in his really ugly Christmas pants, cousin David and my uncle Marty a lot, but it's just a happy thought and both Dad and Marty have moved on.)
A good my distress is grief -- not just my immediate family, but the recent death of Rick's cousin, whom I wrote about before on the Gypsy. This was compounded by news the other day of the death of one of my college roommate's husbands, which was shocking and sudden.
Maybe it’s a function of age; maybe it’s just that more people seem to die as the year draws to a close. (Have you ever noted the obituaries in November/December?) Perhaps it is simply because from the time school begins until the end of the year, our lives take on a more rapid pace with periodic family opportunities to acknowledge, like Thanksgiving, Christmas or Hanukkah.
Grief is tough any time of year. But for me, and for those I’ve been closest to, it’s hardest in the fall and during the holiday season.
So, over on my other blog (the neglected child, "Chopsticks and String") I will offer the first of several periodic posts between now and the holidays about grieving – or preparing to grieve. And, I'll offer tips that can help you as you accompany someone you care about through their grieving journey.
I’ll include a “recipe of the heart” at the end of each and several topic-related tips. (The first recipe is for toasty roasty tomato soup!)
So, if this is a topic in which you have interest, visit Chopsticks and String. I'll let you know here on the Gypsy when a new topic and recipe are posted.