Friday, September 1, 2023

Postcards From the Lake: The Down Elevator

Recently, in the New York Times, Melissa Kirsch shared some thoughts on the end of summer saying "We're in the down elevator." She referred to how summer was "visibly diminishing with each earlier sunset." And, she spoke about how it is good to be home -- or is it? 

That article resonated with me. Summer seems to fly to quickly these days. And to be honest, that feeling didn't start with August but even as it was beginning. Summer just seems so short. My cousin Patty reminded me that when we were kids, summer seemed to last forever. It sure doesn't do that now.


Kirsch reminded readers of what I discovered when I took Rick home from the lake last month for his ride. There is just so much there. Not just the dust that accumulated while I was gone or the rug that I didn't vacuum before I left. There is the closet, stuffed with so tightly with clothes (some of which fit, some -- I'm not so sure), that I can barely squeeze in another hanger. Shelf after shelf of books. Cabinets of dishes and glass and pretty things. And don't start me on art supplies, even though I made a good stab at getting rid of those on the yard sale. It's downright overwhelming.

The irony of this is that at the lake my closet has maybe 10 hangers. In the dresser I share with Rick, only two drawers hold t-shirts, underwear and socks. If there is an excess of anything, it is swim suits. My summer reading shelf holds about a dozen books -- and I know won't finish those. And, I'm good with that. Contented.

Or, in Kirsch's words: "It’s good to be home, sure, but home is also absurd. Home, with its black-hole coat closet and dust-covered knickknacks and so very many condiments, is too much. A week spent living out of a suitcase and the concept of owning more than one sweatshirt seems silly. I keep thinking about the wise friend who told me that everything you buy makes everything you own less valuable."

I know my fall will include projects I'd rather not do -- cleaning the garage, doing something about the Scary Room, dealing with that overstuffed closet. I'd rather be sitting in a beach chair, splashing in the water or painting on the porch.

My house at home isn't large at all, but my cottage is smaller. Smaller is easier. And yet I find it hard to part with things I like. After all, if I didn't like them, I wouldn't have them in the first place. 


And then, these last summer days at the lake aren't going quite as I planned. I just learned that I will have to start IV antibiotics when I get home from the lake, including one day in the hospital when they place the piccline and do the first dose. I knew Rick would be gone for several weeks this summer but I found how much I missed him. Art camp was supposed to begin but then was canceled. It has been cooler and windier than I like, cutting into swimming opportunities. I'm avoiding crowds and busy public places or events that I might otherwise attend because Covid numbers are up here and that's one thing I can't take a chance with right now. I never minded being "home alone" with just Lizzie for company but this summer I find it far more melancholy than in times past. 


The summer my cousin David and I graduated from college was the last summer (until I retired) that my extended family spent completely at the lake. I remember talking with David on the beach one day and he said, "We aren't going to be able to do this again, spend all summer here." He was right. Big-Kid jobs and graduate school would fill up our days and our summers from then on. Only four years after that both of our mothers, the glue of our summers, would be dead. Our lives were changing quickly. We were growing up. 


And now, our lives are changing again. We are growing older and while we may have summers at the lake again, returning to real life brings with it responsibilities and tasks that sometimes we'd rather not have. I realize how lucky I am to have a home, even its overstuffed closet, when so many have so little. And, that there are fewer years left to enjoy all that I love -- no matter where I am. 


The elevator is indeed going down. I'm just not ready to go down with it.

57 comments:

thepaintedapron.com said...

I know the feeling Jeanie, the worst part is finding regular tasks becoming harder than they used to be...we just need to keep calm and carry on! I hope Rick returns safely soon~
Jenna

Steve Reed said...

What a great post, thoughtful and poignant and heartfelt. I love that photo near the bottom of you and your family at the lake.

So many of us DO have too much stuff. I clean things out constantly and because we rent we move periodically, so that helps.

Bill said...

Unfortunately all the good times of our younger days, we thought would never end. Now only the memories last. It seems like yesterday when we were looking forward for summer fun now it is reality that faces us to go forward. Happy weekend and a fantastic September, Jeanie.

Rita said...

I've been definitely finding out this year that I have even more stuff I don't need than I thought.
I think you are really missing Rick a lot. When he gets back home your spirits will lift right up, I think.
Love the photo of all of you so young. Time flies, doesn't it? I wouldn't want to go back, though. I am happy where I am. Took a lot of work to get this far--ROFL! ;)

GretchenJoanna said...

"Everything you buy makes everything you own less valuable." Oh, but this is thought-provoking. I need to think on it **every day**.

I hope you enjoy your last weeks at the lake to the max!!

Misadventures of Widowhood said...

The transition from cottage life to back in the city is always tinged with sadness and a sense of loss. But it wouldn't take long to get into the fall route and getting ready for the holidays.

Take care of yourself!

Prims By The Water said...

Well my Summers are always fast. Since I still work, not much time to play and then I have the stores too. Someday I will retire and enjoy more time to myself. Janice

roentare said...

Your throwback photos at the lake are so filled with happy vibe. We all move on with transitions in life.

Jenny Woolf said...

Yes, I think we all start to feel that in the end! It is a stage of life and we have to make the most of it and get what we can out of it, and there are some advantages to being able to step outside the rat race a little. I often start throwing stuff out when I feel that way and it's quite therapeutic. ( Wish I could say it makes the place seem clearer, when the truth is that for years it didn't EVER seem clearer. I'm just starting to see a little more open space.... I think. )

The Joy of Home with Martha Ellen said...

Jeanie, what a heartfelt post. I hear you and hope you find joy and peace when you return home. Your thoughts remind me of feelings I have felt as the twilight years desend. Sending you hugs, my friend.

Debra@CommonGround said...

Jeanie dear, this really hit home. I can so identify and I don't even have a lake house! Praying that your piccline and antibiotic course go well. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and thoughts...

Salty Pumpkin Studio said...

Take the stairs!
It's good for our heart and mind.
:)
The older you become, the more value you can add to your day be engaging in things that makes your heart melt, smile and laugh.

Giving the woes too much time is an elevator ride.

Love a good over stuffed closet. There's happy memories in there.

Sandra Cox said...

A beautiful, bittersweet post.
I'm sorry to hear you need antibiotics. Hope they do the trick.

acorn hollow said...

I am sorry you are feeling so melancholy. Blessings are having wonderful memories to look back on. You have a very active social life you have lots of memories still to make.
I am sorry you are having health issues and wish you quick healing. When I retired I started cleaning out and while it is work it has been freeing especially my clothes closet. I have a basket in there and when I put something on that just doest fit any more ir I don't like any more in it goes when I have a bag full I donate it. No big clean out just piece by
piece
Cathy

eileeninmd said...

Hello,
Summer did fly by, the days and months just seem to go by faster now.
I pray all goes well with your treatment. I hope you have made many happy memories of this summer at the lake. Take care, have a happy weekend.

David M. Gascoigne, said...

And you live alone, Jeanie! Imagine if there were two of you stuffing those closets full of stuff! You are quite right to say that we have few years left to enjoy all the things we cherish, and of course that’s true for everyone every day. I didn’t know my maternal grandmother all that well, and she was in and out of my life, but I remember when she was quite old saying, “I don’t make five-year plans any more.” I am just the opposite. I intend to keep making plans as though I am going to live forever, as long as ill health doesn’t slow me down. If I could drop dead watching penguins in Antarctic that would be a hell of a way to go!

Anvilcloud said...

Good moody, reflective piece. Good luck with the IV. I was just wondering this morning if that's is where I am headed if this course of treatment doesn't work.

Debbie-Dabble Blog and A Debbie-Dabble Christmas said...

Jeanie,
I loved this post because I think all of us of a certain age feel the same way...For me, I rarely leave my house but that is because I am very content with being here....I had an overstuffed closet but as I lost weight, I vowed never to keep up to 3 sizes of clothes ever again...So my closet now is better and will be even less as I donate the summer clothes that are now big on me...I plan on taking future clothing purchases very seriously and only buying what I need as in retirement, I do not need a lot of clothes...Praying that your hospital stay and course of antibiotics go well and does the job that it is supposed to do...I am thinking of starting to wear a mask again in public as I can no longer take the booster shots...I hope you have a great Labor Day weekend, my friend and thanks for taking the time to visit!!
Hugs,
Deb

Pam Richardson said...

Jeanie, I understand your thoughts completely. I often think I need to purge and simplify, but then the task seems overwhelming. I am praying that the antibiotics and piccline go well for you, my friend.

Iris Flavia said...

I so agree. Summer... "summer" zipped by in no time. Autumn and Winter last forever with their heavy darkness.
And YES. My closet here bursts. And Ingo spoke of buying new Perth-T-shirts. OK they always have super-beautiful new ones, but when to wear?! And we have enough!
Just the other week I had a Perth-shirt from 2015 in the laundry! And it still looks good, too.
And especially now, working from home... Ingo thinks it´s hilarious I don´t even get out of my PJs, but what for (unless I go for groceries, of course). Colleagues tell me the same!

Not a good lookout for your home and... COVID is back?! Well, it was to be expected. Hope we can go to Perth without a hassle.

What wise stories of your cousin and what a very sad follow-up.
Beautiful-fun-pic.
I am glad I do not know when the elevator is there for me.
Let us just be thankful each and every day.
Good luck with your health, too.
Beautiful parting pic.

La Table De Nana said...

Such a spot on post.In many ways..100 yrs spent in Fl in Fl with the very basics one bedroom on small kitchen..then we come home to much more.But we are not ready to downsize.Our home means so much to us..too much to us.Its silly really to be so attached to a home.But we are.We had a whole house generator installed because at 82I felt rigging up everything sometimes in the middle of the night too much for J.Our days in Fl are over.A whole yr home begins.Covid got us used to that.Jeanie I hate this getting older thing.Far less ahead.Friends losing spouses.. sickness.. something you don't think about at 40.Football season starts her with 3 of our Littles.I love that..the elevator goes up a few floors:)

Linda P said...

Over the last month I've been decluttering. (It started before our daughter came to stay and was a motivation to open the wardrobes and take stock). This last week the weather has changed. It has got colder so a sweater is sometimes needed now. I'm sentimental so I keep the things I treasure. They're part of my identity, i.e., who I am. Carry on enjoying your painting activity. Your blog posts are thoughtful as always Jeanie. I hope the treatment you need goes well.

Anonymous said...

So well said and beautifully written.. a very melancholy post… I am pretty much right there with you.

Marilyn Miller said...

Such a thoughtful post, Jeanie!
It almost sounds a bit sad, but I know you still are enjoying those things of life that you can enjoy. Your cabin is a treasure.
I have often thought about what it would feel like to live more simply like you do at the cabin.
Take care and good wishes sent to you as you return home and take care of the medical issues.

My name is Erika. said...

I can totally relate to this post, and I am all for doing a clean out. However, saying that, I am also not one of those people who likes or wants to live in a very empty sterile home. I get your feelings exactly. I have cleaning out to do too, even though I have done some cleaning over time. Craft supplies, if I like them I'm keeping them for now because that time playing gives me lots of pleasure. Books, I could still do another clean through but I do reread the old books sometimes. Clothes, I could definitely clean out more. My house is fairly small too, with no closet space. Sorry to make this comment all about my cleaning, but you spurred a lot of thoughts. I'm sure that happens to many of your readers too. Good luck with what you decide and doing that cleaning. I'll send you my cleaning energy across the states-not sure if that can do much or not. :) hugs-Erika

Carole @ From My Carolina Home said...

Oh, mercy, a pic line and IV antibiotics? Take care of your health first, the decluttering can wait. I hope all goes well.

Joanne Huffman said...

As someone said, "I was prepared to grow old. I just didn't know how soon it would come." Frankly, both my homes are overstuffed; and I'm currently ok with that - but know it has to be addressed soon. At least it's not an express elevator.

Tammie Lee said...

I agree, smaller is easier, less stuff is easier to clean, move and see. Still it seems most of us have packed closets and overflowing shelves. I try to get rid of things regularly and it feels so good. WIshing you a lovely end of the season, hear I can feel autumn mingling with summer already.

gigi-hawaii said...

How sad you feel like this. Like they say, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Oh well, I always say "Live it up, man. Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow you'll die." So true.

Cindy said...

This is so true! We've stayed in Airbnb's a few times and I fall in love with them! Trying to figure out why they stay on my mind for months and years afterward, I've realized it's because unlike my home they have very few things in them, exactly like you said. I think Melissa Kirsch described it well.

Divers and Sundry said...

The number of things that fill our house... yes, it can be depressing, and yet I can't pick things to get rid of. I do like them all, having gotten rid of the other stuff ages ago :(

I'm sorry to hear about the antibiotics and hospital stay. I trust you can settle into that recovery and know that the clearing out can always wait.

DeniseinVA said...

I love that analogy you used about the end of summer. I can relate to the closets full of too tightly fitting clothes. I always hoped that I could get back into them one day, but those hopes are fading. I really need to just bite down and start clearing things out, so that other people can make use of them. Everything you mentioned about clearing things out, we need to go through it all. So many pretty photos you shared, enjoyed them all. You have such a pretty lake home! As for the crowds, I am still avoiding. I get such bad respiratory infections even with a normal cold, and I have already had Covid once and that was enough. Your post was very thought provoking, of things I have thought about myself. It is nice to know I am not alone in my thoughts. Thank you Jeanie :)

Jim and Barb's Adventures said...

You hit a heartstring with your comment about it being your last summer together when you were younger. I just started a post talking about the very same thing. You just want summers like that to go on forever.

Fundy Blue said...

I love your summer family photos and memories, Jeanie! You captured the poignancy of time flying faster and growing older. I think of it as the "downward slide," but the elevator going down is a great analogy. I just finished cleaning the garage. It took over a week because I approached it like eating an elephant one bit at a time, and I don't want to tackle the next elephant ~ lol! All we can do is enjoy ourselves as much as we can in the time we have left and to be grateful for it. I'm keeping my eye on climbing Covid numbers too. I hope all goes well with your IV antibiotics. I hope that Rick will be home in time for that. Take care, Jeanie! Hugs to you!

shoreacres said...

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from my apartment management: the pest control people were coming, and we were to empty all of our drawers and cupboards in the kitchen and bath, and clear off all horizontal surfaces. Well! you can imagine. But, once I'd done all that, I decided it was a perfect opportunity to not only clean all those cupboards and drawers, but to throw, toss, give, and sort. By the time I got done, I ended up with a completely empty cabinet in the bath and two in the kitchen. I've gone through all my papers, and know where every insurance document is. Mirabile dictu! I love knowing where everything is, and I love not having to dig in the kitchen for the pan I want. I feel so much lighter, it's just wonderful.

little Wandering Wren said...

I'm in New York looking after a Toddler, It's a wonderful lesson of living in the present with all attention is on a 22-month-old child. In some respects summers and holidays are like this too we live in the present, without much clutter around us! I like it, and I enjoyed this reflective post, Jeanie. Hope you are enjoying the Labor Day holiday weekend, I am!
Wren x

anno said...

Not sure how much comfort this is, but this summer, it felt like the elevator never even made it out of the lobby, so I think you're in good company. I'm with whoever suggested taking the stairs. I might even be ready to get out of the building and find a whole new neighborhood!

I love that picture of you with your cousins -- what a great memory and a great feeling to hold onto. Something to bottle up and savor, for sure.

gluten Free A_Z Blog said...

I find that transitioning from my beach condo back to my house always takes an adjustment. The house seems so big and I always feel there is too much stuff! After a few weeks it begins to feel normal again. As I age, I realize that I need to get rid of "stuff" because it's just more to take car of and that is becoming more difficult. Great post !

Valerie-Jael said...

Yes, time flies more and more quickly as we get older. I removed at least a halfc of all my things a few months back, and I still have too much. I will get rid of a lot more. I don't know how long I still have to live, so I think it's good to start clearing now! Hugs, Valerie

Natalie said...

You hit the nail on the head with this one! I don’t know if it’s a lack of awareness or we just have a different perception of time, but I really do think time passed by much slower when I was a child.

I also really resonated with what you said about owning a lot of things that aren’t that valuable. As I’ve journeyed through fashion, I have realized that I’m much happier buying quality well designed clothes, than buying cheap clothes I think I like on a whim. This mindset has carried on to other things in life too. I’ve completely lost interest in spending more than $3.50 on anything that doesn’t bring me value.

Lowcarb team member said...

I agree with Steve when he wrote a thoughtful, poignant and heartfelt post.
Time goes by so quickly and as we age we become so more aware that (as much as we can) we need to make each day count.

Thinking of you and hoping that all goes well with your IV antibiotics.

All the best Jan

Deb Nance at Readerbuzz said...

I feel a little melancholy here, too, now and then. I arrived in my town when I was six years old, and I knew no one outside of my immediate family. I've spent my whole life here, and I've had a big, rich life, with many wonderful friends. But now people are leaving, retiring and moving off or, worse, dying.

We are passing things on, right and left, whenever someone, especially a young person, expresses an interest in something. And we have a policy of one new item in, one old item out.

R's Rue said...

Sending hugs.

Carol @Comfort Spring Station said...

I understand every word in this post. I've decided I need to sell my house and move. It is so hard to work on it more than a little while. Using my hands a lot has caused them to hurt more, and I see a doctor tomorrow to be tested for carpal tunnel. Good Grief!

Life is going fast, and I am in the senior phase with an end not too distant. I wish I had my younger body to help get things done. I am not going to pack everything I currently own; therefore, I must decide what to keep and give away.

You're in my prayers for the IV antibiotic. I'm so sorry it is a necessity for you. Take care of yourself Jeanie. I do treasure our friendship.

KarenW said...

A great thought provoking post Jeanie. I'm so lucky to finally be able to live in my shack in the woods full time, all year 'round now. (Though I do miss the lake where we had a nice big trailer house).
Good lucky with your upcoming proceedure. Gosh, as if you didn't have enough on your plate!
Is Rick still up this way?
KarenW

Anca said...

I find it easy to move house, which is great as I am moving again. But, at the same time, it's not a permanent move (only during my studies), so it feels a bit strange, two years between two cities and now between another two cities again.

The Happy Whisk said...

Hey Jeanie - a well-written post. Sorry about the IV antibiotics coming your way. Here's to getting healed up. I like small places too. And I also understand over-stuffed spaces. We are about to go through our clothes again (or soonish to do it), and that will be nice to get rid of some stuff that we're just not wearing.

Summers, even winters go fast for me these days. Right now, we're into autumn here and I love that.

PS: I enjoyed the pictures you posted. A really, really good blog post.

Rita C at Panoply said...

Oh, Jeanie, this post could make me sad (and it does to a certain degree), but let's pull up our big girl panties and turn it around. I think what you need is a visit with the littles! I spent today on the river for the first time in a very, very long time with my oldest and her husband (who just bought a 1997 one owner, dry-docked boat that's in fabulous condition!), Mr. P, and my second daughter and Baby J. Baby J is total entertainment (and daredevil, no fear!). So those littles are the right medicine.
I'm sorry to hear you'll have to have the IV infusions, but having that picc line will certainly make it easier on you in the long run. I'll keep you in my prayers, Jeanie.
"everything you buy makes everything you own less valuable". Wow, that packs a real punch. I am so glad we downsized, and I tell ya, each time I buy something new (guilty on all fronts - plants, garden tsotchkes, clothes, DISHES) - I do feel a pain of guilt. Telling myself I can sell it in the antique mall only carries so much weight. The reality is it'll likely be sitting in nicely organized containers when I'm gone. :(

Veronica Lee said...

I am so glad that it is forever summer in my country. I love the daily assurance of warm and bright days that is as certain as the sun rising in the east.

I love this beautiful, heartfelt post, Jeanie.

I am praying that your antibiotic course goes well.

Hugs and blessings

Lisa's Yarns said...

I'm sorry to hear you'll have to spend a night in the hospital to start the treatment for you pneumonia. That just plain sucks. :( I hope you are back to full health soon! I have mixed feelings about the end of summer. As a child, I was very very ready for school to start each fall as summers were kind of boring. There were fun times, like weekends at the lake, but the week days were full of chores. Since I lived in a rural area, my friends were scattered across farms so not easily accessible. Now as a parent, summer once again feels kind of long. Paul had a great time at his summer public school program but it ended 2 weeks before kindergarten starts so we had to piece together care for him. Thanks goodness my parents were thrilled to take him for the week last week. And he had the time of his life. I think that will become a tradition until my parents aren't able to care for him which is hopefully far off? I know he made great memories with them last week and they just loved their time with him!

I spent a bit more time at the lake this summer than I have in summers past so that was really nice. Labor Day weekend is usually pretty sad since it's often cool and it feels like the end of the season. That was so not the case this past weekend when it was HOT HOT HOT. Like highs in the upper 90s with a lot of humidity. We have one more day of this weather and then it will cool off which I will greet with open arms!!

Daniela said...

Dearest Jeanie,
This so beautiful post of yours made me feel a little of melancholie for the times gone: you made me think about people I’ve lost, although young, during my ‘walk’, people belonging to my family which I grew with and I though they never could leave me so soon… We cannot change our fate, Dearie, we must be strong enough to go on treasuring everything we’ve been taught, even from experiences.
Oh, let me say that your cottage at the lake is simply charming!
Sending much love to you
X Dany

Danielle L Zecher said...

I hope your hospital stay goes well and you recover quickly. Will Rick be able to be with you for that?

I think you're making the right choice to avoid crowds with COVID numbers going up. I think part of why it's more melancholy to be alone now is that we're tired of it. It seems, at least to me, that every time the numbers go up. there's a smaller and smaller group of us who take precautions and it just gets old. I also read a comment on another blog that so many of us who've always considered ourselves introverts were possibly used to getting all of the socialization we needed from things like work, the grocery store, etc., and even though the interactions might have been short/small, we still had them and they filled our need for them. That seems very accurate to me.

Amy at Ms. Toody Goo Shoes said...

All of us at that certain age can relate to what you say. I know we will sell our house within a year or two, and the thought of cleaning out is daunting. I just don't even know where to start. But I'm determined to get going on it.
Yes, the elevator is going down, but we've hopefully got a few more floors to stop on! Wishing you good luck with you medical treatments this fall.

William Kendall said...

I can understand the melancholy.

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

So sorry to hear that you have to get IVs by IV again! I hope all is well.

I love the writings in the NYT and also have a online subscription but I missed this article and will go read it.

I truly believe summer lasts longer as a child as children have few worries and responsibilities and it is all fun and excitement for them,

Anonymous said...

Hey girl! Hope you are doing well - I am catching up on my blog reading and working my way backwards and just read about the piccline and your health issue, needing IV etc. So thinking of you and wishing all goes well. And when is Rick due back? And isn't autumn glorious??? I always loved autumn at our cabin in NY when I was a girl / teen/ young adult and miss those hazy days. Anyways, you take care of you, too.
Happy Fall, y'all!
Dawn Pinnataro, Albany, GA

crackercrumblife said...

Another beautiful post, and this one made me teary. I am glad that Rick is back home now. :) Take care Jeanie.

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