Autumn is nipping at our heels here in mid-Michigan, bringing with it a shift in mood, color, energy.
Over the weekend, Rick and I went to a nursery so he could get some bushes for his yard.
I, of course, couldn't resist all the color of the pumpkins.
They were everywhere, big, small, white and pocked. 
And of course, I walked away with a monster mum for $5!
I loved the autumnal accessories -- the flags and the corn shocks.
Every arrangement used the colors of autumn.
There were a few pieces of garden statuary, unsold from the season, waiting for a home.
But this one touched me. A stone angel, asleep on his side, the angel's wing protecting him in slumber. 
There is an odd energy in my world -- I'm seeing and hearing about many who have experienced recent losses and change. Their worlds are reeling with shifts in responsibility, new tasks added onto the daily duties already there. There is an edge to people's moods in the office. Quicker tempers. Resignation. Anger. WKAR's radio campaign is going horribly, university cutbacks are expected, and everyone is scared. And hostile.
The flu has hit town and already one of my office colleagues (who happens to be just across the hall) has it. I feel another bout of something coming on, reminding me I have to get the flu shots and soon. The coughing annoys my colleagues and scares Rick. Heck, it scares me, too. Even Gypsy feels me draw in breath to cough and he jumps out of my arms or off my lap, even before the sound.
I long to be in the warmth of my house, playing in glue or in the kitchen or just cleaning, organizing, sorting, purging. By the time I get home and have dinner, it's dark and I shut down. Every day when I go to work, I say a prayer that I am grateful to have employment -- and a job that I love -- that covers my insurance and pays me well enough to meet my needs. But sometimes it is so hard to get out of bed. I just want to stay there and cry.
So, I grab onto the sun when it is there; revel in the color -- which permeates my world on days good and bad. I hug Mr. Gypsy Rose whose rhythmic purr reminds me to relax and that this, too, will pass.
And I remain grateful.
11 comments:
Oh Jeanie - you sound sad. I was thinking of the words you quoted at the end (how strange is that). This too shall pass. Sometimes these hurdles seem difficult at the time, but the sun will shine again and health and happiness will return. I had a couple of bad viruses during our winter. The doctor was determined to put me on antibiotics but I resisted. I found this amazing little natural remedy called Olive Leaf Extract - it eventually got rid of my cough and my health (touch wood) has been fine. Good luck - God bless.
I was thinking about you driving home yesterday, listening to WKAR's fund raising campaign. I'm so sorry to hear it isn't going well.
Yes these are very dire times at the University. Our department is hit so hard, sometimes I wonder how we can survive it. The office phones have been pulled. Cuts are so deep - in an already "poor" department - we all look around and wonder about our jobs, even tenure track professors.
I hope you will feel better soon, inside and out.
Was this VanAtta's - of course?
Oh, I surely can relate to you post. I feel the same way every morning.But I am glad I have a job.
We will get through this, Dear Friend. Your pics were really pretty! So fallish.
xoxoxox
Great deal on the mum! They are such a rip off here I didn't even buy any this year.
I hear ya on the whole job thing.
Karla
Although Fall is my favorite season, this one is different. This year it seems darker and colder. I think I know what you mean about the edge. But, when the afternoon light hits the trees in a golden slanted shaft, it's an incredibly beautiful sight. I hope you stay well and things start looking up.
Dear Jeanie, you sound like you have the blues. I wish I could invite you over for a cuppa tea. Curl up with your Gypsy & a good book & look at your beautiful mums (which here would cost more like around $25.00), and feel better.
Beautiful Fall things to look at. When we went up north, it was cold but I put my mittens on and decided to enjoy it. Now I keep my house a little cooler! So many illusions in life!
It is difficult to get up and go to work (even when the work is short lived and you don't know if there will be any more next week)when there is so much you want to do elsewhere. Only so much time in a day! Love your pumpkin picture. Makes me want to go paint...
hello to you my dear friend. i love your excitement for each and every seasonal change that comes along. you are ever there to celebrate, be curious and to share the beauty that you see. you must get that flu shot. and i bet when i go to your most recent post you will have gotten that taken care of.
:)
XOX
I have had your blog open a lot of the day today Jeanie :)
Your harvest post is so colorful and lovely....I took a photo of a similar bumpy pumpkin at the market today (not one I'd seen before, a pumpkin with warts!)
The angel resting with wings at rest is so beautiful and sweet!
Hope you're feeling better ... I realize I worked my way back in your blog posts!
Lovely post even with the sadness within...I am certainly behind on blog posts. Just making the time to catch up tonight. I certainly know how you feel, well, the emotional part, not the sickness.
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