Travel Break: Gloomy, White and Cold!

It has been snowing here. Deep snow. (Well, OK, not THAT deep!) Finally. I say "finally" and it sounds like "oh, boy! It's finally snowing!" But what I mean is that by late January and our total number of snow inches since November was about five or six (if that) and in only two real snowfalls. Don't tell me there is no climate change. We live in Michigan. (OK, it wasn't FEET of snow, but more snow than we'd had!)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. If you don't like it, move somewhere else. Well, as Gilda said, "It's always something." Hurricanes, tornado belt, flood plain, earthquake zone, wildfire dangers. Trust me, I don't mind winter kicking in till late January.

However, when it kicked in it was more like a severe beating. Like many of you in the north and northeast, the Polar Vortex (we added an adjective I won't put here before Polar) knocked us flat. When temps don't get above zero F and the wind chills are in the -30 and lower zone, you know it's cold. When Rick left here bundled up for a two-block walk home, he looked like Ralphie's little brother in "A Christmas Story," or at least his face did, bundled in a scarf wrapped more times than I thought it could wrap. Wish I'd taken a photo!

Everything closed -- even the U and the post office! A few days later, it warmed up, a 50 degree or more-degree change, practically overnight. Then a melt (all gone!), gloom, rain and now ice. I'm getting ready for basement water.

The wretched weather gives me a good excuse to kick back and be mellow and time to bake, paint, read, get crafty and take some classes -- so lots to write about before we pack up for more of England. It was the two-month sinus infection that doesn't end, a crown badly placed that seems to not settle quite right (ah, why couldn't they just put it on my head instead of in it?) and who knows what. It finally flattened me with high fever and that's when you know you just have to stop. Fortunately, it was Rick and Lizzie to the rescue. Rick with a drugstore run and soup. Lizzie with a big mellow purr. (Of course, she always has an agenda, but that's OK. I'll take it.)

Before the sinus head kicked in full force (and since) I've been reading. I'd highly recommend Tara Westover's "Educated" and found "C'est la vie" by the late "Born to Shop" author Suzy Gershmann delightful as she wrote about her first year as a grieving widow and moving to Paris. (Light, but fun; but don't get any ideas based on the prices -- the book was written in 2000!). I just finished Bob Woodward's "Fear" which is a fast read if you watch a lot of news, which I do, and a couple of light mysteries. Now I'm into Tina Brown's "Vanity Fair Diaries."

A little bit of Valentining in the house. I bought these pompom balls for about 40 cents each when marked down 80 percent at Pier One in January. I sure do love that Valentine's Day and Christmas use similar color schemes! There are little lights in the vase for night time. (More Valentine decor to share soon!)

And I've been painting England. Trying to put some of our travel memories into watercolor. Easier said than done!

The paintings above is from the Cotswolds -- I'll be writing more about those after our travel break. The one below is from our visit to Kenwood, which I wrote about HERE.

And a lovely tea. Tea. What's not to love?

And a good start on the cottage where we stayed in Bath. I can already see the perspective's a bit helter skelter in this one. To be honest, I look at all of these except maybe the tea one and realize I'm going to have to do them over.

As I've been painting and going through photos to paint, I've been thinking about my friend Steve, below and on the right. Steve was my boss at WKAR for a number of years and we were part of a happy band of travelers who went to various PBS and industry meetings. Those were wonderful times with loads of laughs. Steve had a membership to the NorthWest perks club and the rest of us always tried to book the same flight so we could join him while waiting for connections! He was my favorite partner during pledge breaks because I knew we'd talk wine and have fun.

Steve was a good leader for our station in those times but in later years, after his retirement, he became a non-work friend as well, and in recent years several of us who have retired periodically meet for dinner. That's when I learned that Steve read Marmelade Gypsy. That surprised me. It didn't exactly seem up his alley, yet when I think of Steve, I think of someone who loved to travel, garden, savor wine and had loads of interests. He and his wife Susan were a perfect pair.

A lot of my colleagues who worked with Steve never realized how funny he was. You don't always know how funny your big boss is. Humor can be tricky when it's wry. And if you are a little more retiring than others, you don't always get to know that. I'm glad I did.

I look at these photos and I realize that now two of are happy band, Steve, who passed away unexpectedly in January, and Mary Jane (second from left, below, who passed about nine years ago) are gone. They aren't the only ones in my overall orbit. But they were two who mattered to me. And I realize that the check out line is only beginning.

I'll still be gathering with my work pals for dinner, but we'll be missing a major cog in the wheel. And one thing I will miss greatly are the times when we're talking about something and Steve would look at me and say, about something he had seen here the blog, "Damn, woman, you're good! Where did you get that photo?!" or "I lurk. But I always read your blog."

We never know who's reading, do we? But I'm glad Steve read mine.

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Pressing Issues

Those of you who follow the Marmelade Gypsy know that I rarely post politically-oriented pieces. I believe that one's political opinions are their own and whether or not they agree with mine, it doesn't affect our friendship (or family relationships) -- and shouldn't. We keep our distance on that topic and when it's too hot to handle, I back off, remove myself from the situation if at all possible.

First, if anything good has come from the chaos of the past few months it is this: People are becoming engaged. They know the names of their Senators and Congressional Representatives. They are reading and watching news, most of which is not fake -- it may be opinionated but it's not fake. And it's pretty clear we care about our country. Care passionately -- and that is a good thing.

I learned a long time ago that you can't convince people who are deeply entrenched in a thought -- on any topic. And that, I'm sorry to say, sometimes includes me.

But if I had any advice to give to our president it would be "Stop talking about the press and fake news. It makes you look like a buffoon."

Whether he is or not isn't the issue. His continual harping on the issue doesn't help. It just makes him look paranoid and unpresidential. It doesn't help.

I know some of you may not agree and I hope that we'll still be "friends." But that's up to you.

Without the press we wouldn't know about Watergate. Sunday, Feb. 19, on "Face the Nation," Reince Priebus was advocating the concept of reporters revealing their sources. One of the tenets of the press is that sources are protected. That's how you find out things that merit investigation. Some play out, some don't. But without Deep Throat, Woodward and Bernstein would have had much less to work with and one of the great cover-ups of all time would have remained a secret.

This is personal for me. For more than 30 years I worked in public broadcasting and the station I worked for had both radio and television coverage of news and politics. I was also part of a university department that housed the school of journalism. Over the course of years I worked with many journalists in one capacity or another. I remember being in the newsroom on election night tweeting results as they came in. It was exciting and exhausting.

credit: Bill Richards, WKAR

I've seen debate production and let me tell you, these politicians are picky. Podium height must be the same, note pads provided. They haggle on dates and who is in and who isn't till you're ready to pull your hair out. You talk about prima donnas in the performing arts? Honey, you ain't seen nothing yet -- and some of these folks are just running for Governor or Mayor!

Since 1972 our senior capitol correspondent has anchored a weekly show on Michigan politics with a rotating panel whose members alternate. I worked with "Off the Record" host Tim Skubick for decades and I could not tell you if he is a Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative. And this has been the topic among many of my colleagues and none of us know. And Tim's not telling. It's interesting to observe that after a particularly feisty program we would get calls saying both that "He was too hard on that guy," and "He was giving that guy softballs." The same guest.

credit: Stacey Hoxsey, WKAR

Our radio staff, as well, hits hard topics and does it unflinchingly. A little over a year ago, one reporter's interview of our university president following the controversial topic of selling broadcast spectrum angered her to a degree heard over the radio in terse snotty-nose answers. The anchor himself faced direct wrath. And, I'm proud to say, was backed for journalistic integrity both in-house and from listeners.

Now, you can say, "Well, that's local. It's different with the president."

No it isn't. It's just bigger. And the reporters aren't different either. They're just better known.

There's an important document we should all be aware of -- the Society of Professional Journalists Code of Ethics. You can (and should) read the link. But basically, there are several key principles: Seek truth and Report It, Minimize Harm, Act Independently, Be Accountable and Transparent.

In the section of this document on "anonymous sources" the ethics code says: "Few ethical issues in journalism are more entangled with the law than the use of anonymous sources. Keep your promise not to identify a source of information and it’s possible to find yourself facing a grand jury, a judge and a jail cell. On the other hand, break your promise of confidentiality to that source and it’s just possible you might find yourself on the receiving end of a lawsuit." (there's more at the link.)

In fact, laws protect the journalists in this action. They are called "Shield Laws" and they provide statutory protection for the “reporters' privilege” — legal rules which protect journalists against the government requiring them to reveal confidential sources or other information. 

Remember when Mary Richards (Mary Tyler Moore) went to jail for not revealing a source? Check out this National Law Journal article to see how that episode was mentioned in a later, related case. 
 

20th Century Fox / National Law Journal

The point is, as Bob Woodward of "Woodward and Bernstein" said on "Face the Nation, "The press is not our enemy... democracies die in darkness." Or, as Senator Lindsay Graham (R, SC) says "The backbone of America is the free press and independent judiciary and it is worth fighting and dying for."

John McCain defended the freedom of the press on "Meet the Press" this week, reminding viewers that suppressing the press is "how dictators get started." He admitted to host Chuck Todd, "I hate the press... but the fact is we need you. We must have a free press." (source here. Link to program not yet posted.)

I'm not sure that our president understands what a clown he makes of himself with the repeated attacks on fake news and the press. (Clarification: fake news is "The Onion" (and often that term reflects satire). Fake news is "The National Enquirer." Fake news is not the standard press organizations. They may or may not have some bias but they are calling it as they see it..)

When one witnesses a train wreck, there will be different descriptions of what happened. When I witnessed the train wreck of a press conference the other day I thought, "Of course you have to report on this. A man who is leading our country becomes completely unhinged in public -- and you can't have a bigger public than television. He doesn't listen to the questions (remember the reporter who said, "I know you are not anti semitic but what does your administration plan to do about the increase in hate crimes?" and he was railed at for being perceived as saying Trump is semitic.) It was a legitimate question and a very good one that I'd like to know the answer to myself.

He insulted an African American reporter and he repeatedly referred to fake news.

Well, he made news with that one -- as he predicted in the conference he would. And he should have.

My plea to you is to ignore his Fake News rant. Clear your mind and prejudices and try to listen, and objectively. And I know that's hard. I force myself to listen to Fox News but I do sometimes, because I need to hear that take. Listen to different sources. You will see a variety of viewpoints and clearly some are more liberal and some more conservative.

Source: Reddit.com

It doesn't mean that one or the other is wrong necessarily. It means it doesn't match with your view or mine.

I am reminded of my first Consumer Behavior Class where we learned about something called Cognitive Dissonance.

This psychological theory is defined as the mental discomfort or stress one has when holding conflicting beliefs or values or when confronted with new information that contradicts an existing belief. For example, if you buy a new car, we are inclined to hold onto our belief that it is the right choice even when confronted by recalls, airbag problems or defects. "Well, I love my Toyota, I will probably even get another one."

We hold tight because we didn't want to be wrong. It's our attempt at internal consistency. Or, as I find in myself, a real tough challenge to admit we may have made a mistake. (Flip flop!)

I hear a lot of cognitive dissonance regarding the election. We make choices based on what we know, what we think is right or on one issue that overrides all others. And sometimes that's what you have to do.

And sometimes it isn't.

If I want to change things, I have to take action (one of my words of the year). We all do. Sitting around and complaining gets us nowhere if we don't do something, large or small (write postcards, march, attend meetings, call to make our voices heard.) So I will continue to do what I do and expect or hope others will do the same.

One last story. When I was in high school choir, we had to sing a song made popular for choral groups by the Fred Waring Singers. The words, "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free..." from Emma Lazarus' poem on the Statue of Liberty, took a satiric turn ("Give us Fred Waring and we'll ring his neck, huddled in the corner till he dies...").

We didn't have a clue, some many of us being little white-bread and white-bred kids. Then my mother told me about her friend Mrs. Lepkongs, to whom she taught English when they fled Soviet-controlled Latvia after the war with few belongings. And in the years since, I've studied history -- the horrible mistakes the US made during World War II in imprisoning our Japanese immigrants, the tragedy of the Holocaust and a narcissistic, psychotic dictator (who also silenced the press). I've learned that we must open our doors as well as our hearts.

What counts most now -- at least to me -- is that we go forth in love and in measured thoughtfulness. Do what we need to do -- but think about our words, our actions, our hopes for our country as a land of the free.

An Embarrasment of Riches

An embarrassment of riches. That's all I can say about my time at WKAR and that last wonderful week. And the riches weren't just the celebrations. It was mostly the people.

I've been "at liberty" now for a full week, having a glorious time making art up north. It seems odd to not be with this gang of people every day! This is most of our team (boss Katie and colleague Stacy had to leave the work goodbye lunch a little early for another meeting!)

I had the opportunity to be on our "Current State" show, as I mentioned in the last post. Joe and Aaron were behind the scenes!

This is Mark Bashore, our host! I had known Mark long before he came to work at WKAR.

On Thursday, the station hosted a lovely reception for me. It was coordinated by Carol (left) and our GM, Gary Reid (far right, with his partner Pat), but lots of people helped!

My very first GM, Bob Page, was there, too!

And our current station manager, Susi Elkins. I've known Susi since she was a student working at the station! She's come a long way, and no one deserves it more!

The group included volunteers and friends, like Susan Affholter, Carol Welch and Jim DeLine. All are longtime friends, volunteers and lifelines!

So many colleagues (past and present) came, and so did good friends -- book club friends, wine friends, my "great group" (or GGs). All held my hand and were there during my illness, stress, whatever was making me crazy at the moment. And I know they will again.

Mike Hughes is our TV critic. He works nationally for Gannett, so if you are in a Gannett paper, you may have read his words! I've read a lot of them!

Two of my most recent work colleagues, Stacy and Kim, were there too -- it's so nice to know that when you leave someplace, you leave it in good hands! I'm only sorry I won't be able to work with them as closely from now on.

And here's something special... we went into the restaurant in the rain. Soon after, someone came in and said, "Have you seen the rainbow?" It was a full rainbow -- I didn't see the double, but someone else said they saw a double rainbow, too! I think that's a good sign!

The last day was filled with the Jeanie Goodbye Tour. I won't share all the photos for that but let me say, it was hard to say goodbye to friends. Raysha, our student, made me a wonderful farewell gift -- a jar filled with my bucket list wishes and lots more activities, for that day when you wonder, "What shall I do today?" I loved it!

That night, our old Quonset Hut gang got together -- these are those I've known the longest (since WKAR was located in the original Quonset huts on MSU's campus) and with whom I worked the most intensely.

. It was hosted by Tim (my office brother) and his wife, Sara, here with their daughter Meghan.

I've known Mike Lewis forever. He made a wonderful collection of "posters" where he photoshopped Rick and me into lots of fun things.

I can't decide if this is my favorite...

Or this one!

Gypsy readers have met Mark and Jan before at our Easter Egg dying gigs. Mark was one of the very first people I met.

Mike Mihalus and I spent a lot of time together as he produced pledge breaks. I hope he'll still invite me now and then!

Nancy Kelly and Bill Kinney were part of the original group, too. I can't imagine having had a life at WKAR without them.

After the first party, the night before, Rick and I had dinner in the restaurant where the party was located. This is the photo I took there, rather hurriedly. Yes, it's a boo boo photo -- but I think all the lights summarize those last few days -- filled with light, love, friends, happiness...

And all a blur!

Wet Sticky Leaf

Rick tells me that in Japan, a man who is retired is referred to as a nure ochiba. This loosely translates to "wet leaf" or "wet sticky leaf,." depending on your translation.

The man, now with nothing to do after a lengthy career of being in the driven Japanese business world, sticks to his wife's leg like a wet sticky leaf.

I think Rick is getting a little worried that I will turn into a WSL. I say that apart from cruising down to his house on bread baking days to grab a couple of slices for a toasted tomato and basil sandwich, he doesn't have much to worry about.

Friday, September 13 was my last day as a longtime communications manager at WKAR. For 32-plus years, I have been proud to share the word about public television and radio in our community. I've worked with so many amazing people at WKAR, in the community and at the university, I am almost embarrassed by the richness I have experienced in that time. And yet right now my world feels as though it has turned upside down.

When I started working there, fresh out of grad school, we worked in a tin Quonset hut with weeds coming through the floor and asbestos hanging from the ceiling. Now we are in a remarkable building with four studios. I went from Selectric typewriter to computer, "regular" TV to digital. WKAR did a lot of production back in the Quonset days and we do a lot now. I am always impressed by our crew. And for the most part I have loved all the things we've done and I've experienced over time.

We did a ton of events where we'd meet and greet...

Open houses...

Festivals...

Parties. And I got to meet some great people, like Garrison Keillor...

...Julia...

...and Ken Burns.

The list was long -- I wish I could find my photo with Fred Rogers -- truly the real deal. Bill Moyers, Bob Ross (the Happy Painter), Graham Kerr (The Galloping Gourmet), Jim Lehrer, the This Old House guys, Michael Buble... that's only a few!

My favorite was Carrol Spinney, aka Oscar the Grouch and Big Bird, who came to our 50th and was one of the most remarkably generous human beings I've ever met. We still swap holiday cards. Big Bird is Carrol.

I got to travel to conferences and when I did, there was usually a terrific batch of station cohorts with whom to laugh our way through dinner.

Over and over again!

I had many great bosses -- here are two of them. Susi is now our TV station manager and Tim, our  executive producer, pictured here at the NETA conference. Some people have office husbands. I have an office brother -- Tim. We grew up there, Quonsets to current, and have worked on more projects together than I remember. I remember when he met his wife Sara. I danced at their wedding, and I've seen their children grow into wonderful young adults.

My favorite task was doing pledge breaks, which used to be very frequent and less so in recent years, with the pre-packaged PBS breaks.

And the remotes were even more fun -- our crew was terrific -- and we always stopped for popcorn or ice cream when we were done!

I loved meeting colleagues from around the country. A favorite moment was running around Disney World in the rain!

Over the years, the faces changed. The fun was the same.

The NETA conferences were my favorite and I've posted about them here several times. The NETA team -- Gayle, Bob, Maryanne and Lisa and Skip (not pictured) have been wonderful friends and will remain so. NETA meetings also reunited me with an old friend, Joan, and many new, special people.

And, after we merged with the Communication Arts college, I got to work on other events too -- and one led me to meet my one and only athletic hero, Greg Kelser. Twice!

The gang below is one I've spent a lot of time with over the years. Although most of us are in different work groups now, and two are no longer at the station, they are still my core. We've shared so much.

But they are only one group of many. Some good friends have passed on, some have moved on. And yet I feel so privileged to have worked with them all. Now it's my turn.

I was lucky enough to be invited on our radio show, "Current State" for a short "exit interview!" If you want to listen (it's about two minutes), click here!

I'll tell you a bit more about the last few days in another post. But for now Cheers! Let the new life begin!