The Verdict Is In

 (If this is too long or TMI for you, feel free to skip to thank you messages at the bottom of the post!)

Those of you who have followed The Marmelade Gyspy for the past months know that since February -- after a long, incurable (but manageable) lung disease called bronchiectasis -- with many infections that would occur periodically -- I went for a second opinion. I was tired of feeling like a rag doll.

I had to shift my own thinking from fear that something awful was there to accepting what was indisputable -- annoying, but not life threatening -- I hoped.

I just wanted to be sure that we weren't overlooking something that might get lost, assuming it was the bronchiectasis. Maybe we'd find an underlying cause that, while it couldn't cure it, could help the infections occur less frequently. What I needed was a little good luck for once.

So, it was off to the Infectious Disease folks. I fully expected them to do their thing, take lots of tests and tell me they could find nothing more. Yay, me! But I had entered the web of modern medicine.

What they found initially was that I may have a serious lung disease -- a non-contagious tuberculosis infection with a long name. Then they said it was another. And when they told me the treatment options, I was frightened and horrified.

 

Two years. Vision loss. Plus the usual chemo effects. I felt like the grim reaper couldn't be far behind.

There was one appointment after another with no concrete information. "The test results aren't in." I felt like a puppet with doctors and labs pulling the strings.

They decided to test again. Perhaps it was a false positive. Maybe it was just protocol. I kept thinking positive thoughts -- and tons of prayers were thrown up to the universe.

Almost every day I wore a mask that tried to hide the fear and anxiety. "How're you doing today?" "Oh, not so bad, thanks for asking!" (Happy little smile.)

But no matter what I said to others, inside I couldn't escape from it. And pretty much everyone knew it -- even if they didn't know how deep that fear went.

I felt like I was juggling too many balls. Playing with fire. And while work, volunteering, art, being with friends, brought their own diversions, I felt like I was hiding in all of these things so I didn't have to face the inside of me. The frightened part.

Well, after six months of testing, the verdict is in.

And I'm OK. Pretty much.

I do have one of those mycobacterium infections (Mycobacterium moriokaense) but it only showed in one of many cultures and is not considered something that they feel should be treated in this way at this time.

In other words. I am free.
Free from the fear and anxiety and edginess.
Free from the tears, except those of joy.
Free from the anxiety of a treatment considered worse
than the disease.
Free to make plans and know that pending some emergency from any quarter,
I will be able to realize those plans.

Free. And happy.

The Moriokaense does have potential challenges -- chronic pneumonia as the primary susceptibility with this. But watching it is just fine. It puts me in no jeopardy. And makes a massive difference in my quality of life. And while I will still have bronchiectasis flare-ups and infections, it DOES mean that I can be treated for those a LOT easier and in a MUCH shorter period of time than with something worse.

I'm sure you can imagine how relieved I am. Joy doesn't come close,

I can't begin to express how much I have valued the support, encouragement, listening ears, positive thoughts and prayers of so many people, including all of you. I have been a bundle of nerves and anxiety for a long, long time and have shed more tears in frustration than I like to imagine.

Rick, in particular, has been such a tremendous support -- picking me up when I'm down, listening, being there -- pure and simple. There are times when I think this has been harder for him than for me.

I have received cards and good wishes and so much more from so many of you -- and many of us have never met face-to-face. And I know every single bit of that energy has helped.

I'm feeling better physically this summer than I had in a number of months and now I feel like a huge weight is off my shoulders and that "vice" that was holding my head in a continually anxious state has been released.
 

Retirement is on Friday, September 13 -- and since I'm taking a little time off before, that means about ten working days left. (But who's counting? Oh, me!) That means I can stop worrying about travel or some of the other things that were on my mind and relax into it.

I am so very grateful in so many ways.

Thank you, all.

I am humbled by your support and treasure it more than you know.

House of Grace with Kristen Robinson

Dusty DeHaven, the Smittendust maven, has done it again -- she's brought in a four-star mixed media teacher to share her knowledge with mid-Michigan students.

Kristen Robinson is known for her work that is often featured in Somerset Studio. She taught a series of classes this week. I attended the one called "House of Grace."

This is a photo of Kristen's class example.

What a blast. Our kit included three small wooden houses. After we primed them, we got into making molds.

This is seriously easy, fun and therapeutic! (We used Susan Lennart Kazmer's molding materials.) We all had brought jewelry and other bits to mold with and boy, was it fun!

Then we turned those molds into embellishments with paper clay. Lots of embellishments!

Kristen was such a fun teacher -- she didn't just know her stuff. .She conveyed it well -- and along the way was just so darned delightful, by the time I left five hours later, I felt like I'd known her all my life!

After we painted our houses, we worked on painting our embellishment. The heart was part of our kit (we couldn't paint what we did till they dry.) And then we antiqued them and our houses, and added beeswax and resin.

Finally, they all went together. This is my almost-done house.It still needs a little love near the top and journaling on the sides.

And here are the works in progress.

Of course, classes like this are more than the learning. We get to see old friends. I've known Joanne (below) from close to my beginning blogging days.And I got to meet Jill, with whom I've been doing the drawing challenge (along with Joanne). Finally, a face with the name!

Who would imagine something so cute could come from pieces of clay and wood?

I also learned about a couple of products I've never worked with before -- these watercolor crayons (softer than watercolor pencils) and something called gel stain, which we used in the antiquing.

Thanks to Dusty, whose mission of bringing excellent teachers to mid-Michigan is her passion. 

She also makes one heck of a great name tag!

Fun at the Folk Festival

One of mid-Michigan's greatest treasures is the Great Lakes Folk Festival. Held every August (on my birthday weekend, I might add -- a party for me!), this event combines music and traditions from not only all over the U.S. but the world.

You'll hear Cajun, Quebecois, Celtic, string bands, polka, blues, gospel and much more.And along the way, you'll see traditional crafts and skills. Boat building, fishing, farming -- the heritage is covered as well. It's a big enough event that WKAR was broadcasting live, interviewing mid-Michigan folk guru Bob Blackman.

I wasn't at my best for the festival this year -- having your wisdom teeth pulled does that to a person! But we really enjoyed Michigan favorite Joel Mabus, who tells a story as well as he sings!

I was less fond of this year's Cajun group, Les Bassettes, but others enjoyed them.

However, I very much liked the bluegrass group Clear Fork from Chardon, Ohio. They were lively -- strong singers, great musicians!

It was fun to watch caller Bob Stein try to arrange close to 200 people into contra and square dances.

It got a little unruly, and yet everyone was having so much fun dancing, I don't think anyone cared!

There were two Quebecois groups --Les Poules a Colin, which opened the festival .and Dentelion. (Members of "Les Poules" included some of the younger members of the Dentelion band.) Dentelion, made up of musicians from two families, rocked the crowd with wonderful music.

We went to see them twice and the second time had a better seat so you could really see their fingers move across the strings! Claude was the leader on fiddle and vocals...

Dana took accordion and sometimes guitar...

And had a mean pair of feet! They moved faster in one place than mine can go walking!

After the first performance, Rick and I met three of the band members in the street. There was Denise (who knew of Torch Lake!)...

...Beatrix...

...and Colin.

They were warm, friendly and so nice! Rick and I plan to visit their town next summer when Rick rides his bike to Newfoundland. (Don't ask... that's a whole future post!)

Another performer we loved was Cathie Ryan, an Irish American singer, originally from Detroit.

She was a wonderful storyteller and pretty amazing musician, too.

Her fiddler had been with the original NYC company of Riverdance. Together, with the guitarist who was only doing his second gig with them, they had the audience enchanted and often singing along.

We saw Cathie Ryan twice also and each time was different, each time terrific.

I really wish I'd posted about past festivals earlier so those in Michigan could make it a point to get here. This isn't your Peter, Paul and Mary folk festival -- it's music from around the world -- and so much more!

So, thanks, MSU Museum, for bringing this festival to mid-Michigan! A round of applause for you!