Writing Your Memoir or Family Story

After spending years working on my family history and pulling together a rather hefty book on the subject (it weighs in at two pounds and 309 pages!), I thought I'd share a few things I discovered along the way that, should you decide to engage in such a project, might make your journey a little easier.

An inch thick, two pounds, many years of research and 309 pages!

1) What Do You Want to Say -- And Why Do It in the First Place?

Is this  a solo memoir? Your life and yours alone? Or is it a family story? How far back do you want to go? (This is based on either how much you already know or how much more you want to research about your family history). I wanted to back as far as I could find, but I knew the lion's share would focus on the times beginning with my grandparents.

As to the why -- I have cousins who have children. I don't want this collection of history to end with our generation. Perhaps this will give the next group a head start. (Besides, I was curious -- and I wanted to find out if I was related to Stephen Colbert. And yes, I am! We won't be celebrating the holidays together but it is fun to know!)

2) How Do You Want to Say It?

Is this going to be a first person narrative? A generational story where you will be in the third person (along with siblings or others)? Is it linear (for example, starting at the beginning of life and ending at the end? Or does it jump around. 

I started in the 1700s but the largest focus of the book began with my great grandparents.

(With my book, it was semi-linear. By that I mean that with my grandparents' lines I needed to look at both the maternal and paternal. And, I focused on my mom's family, as that was the side where there were cousins. (My dad was an only child, too.) 

Mom (at far right) with her sisters and my grandparents, 1950)

I decided I'd do my grandfather's line sequentially up to the point he met my grandmother and her line up to the same point. So, I started with his story from the 1700s, to 1900. I had less info on grandma, so that started in the mid-1800s and from the early 1900s on, the paths converged, adding in my mom and her sisters and my generation. You could do this any number of ways; that worked for me.)

3) What Kind of Research Material Do You Currently Have?

This includes things like journals, letters, photographs, family stories and personal memories, obituaries, funeral handouts, and birth and death certificates. I was lucky to come from a family of savers of personal memorabilia.

Obituaries can tell you things you never knew about your ancestors.

4) What Kind of Research Might You Want to Do?

This would include things for which you might need a (free) account on Familysearch.org or a paid Ancestry or My Heritage account or other online sources (free and otherwise). This includes census records, access to books written about your family or family line, birth or death certificates, military or farm census records, newspaper articles and city directories. Perhaps even more important were interviews with family and those who knew our parents (see below).

City directories can offer home and work addresses and career info

And, depending on how much time or money you want to invest in your research, you might add travel to the list. Rick and I visited Canada to find graves of my distant relatives and when we were in England, spent time in the archives, as well as visiting the church in which my second great grandparents were born and their parents married.

St. James Piccadilly

5) What Else Do You Want to Include?

For me, this included a look at the times in which they lived, adding context to the lives of my ancestors and clarifying information for readers. For example, I have a long line of Mennonites in my family, which no one in my generation (or to my knowledge, my mom's) knew. So I took a couple of pages to talk about how this came about in Europe and how my relatives became part of this faith and how it motivated, in part, their emigration to the United States.

A look at mental health in the 1900s at the Traverse City Asylum for the Insane

I wrote at more length about the confectionery industry in the late 1800s, the cholera epidemic of 1852 England, the impact of World War II on our community, the state of mental health institutions at the turn of the last century and farming in the 1800s in Michigan. Now when my family reads this, they will better understand not only our ancestors but the lives they led.

6) Who Can You Talk To?

Some of my best material came from my cousins, one of whom had the most clear memories of our grandfather because he was older and spent much time with him. Since I was writing a family story, my cousins shared much about the lives of Mom's three sisters, as well as their own memories of growing up. If your parents have living siblings or friends, that's a rich source too. Some of my most treasured memories are hours spent with my mom's childhood lake friend. It fleshed out both the color of life at the lake during those times and painted a picture of my mom as a child and young woman.

Mom (left) and best friend, Fran at the lake

7) Write, Write, and Rewrite. Then Proof, Proof, and Reproof

You can wait till you have everything to begin to write but I found it helpful to write as I went along and then go back and revise, adding more details as they became available. And proof. Proof as you go along. Proof after you think you are done. Proof it again. Have someone else look at it and proof. Revise, edit, over and over. If you wait till you are at the printer, every change will cost you. (I know this because I kept proofing the print galleys with a fine tooth comb -- multiple times -- and I still found minor things. A misplaced comma, a spot where I copied and pasted and then didn't delete something, sometimes things no one else would notice but I wanted it right. It probably added $250 to my costs.)

8)  What's Your Format? 

I opted for a large size book to better show photos and documents.

This may not matter till you go to press but if you are preparing the document as you want it to print (more or less), you'll need to know. Do you want it to be the size of a trade paperback? I wanted mine to measure 8 1/2 x 11 inches, so typing a regular word document was fine for me. I also inserted my own (hi-resolution) photos in the document where I wanted them (versus several pages of photos in the center of the book together.) If you can scan your own photos, you'll save a boatload of money, rather than having a printer do them.

9) Picking a Printer

Lots of people do the Amazon thing and I can't comment on that because I didn't do it. It probably would have been less expensive and people could order directly from Amazon. I chose not to for several reasons. First, I wanted a local printer. Second, I wanted full control and that meant being able to work with them on the cover design and have ease when proofing or changing a photo. I paid for it. But it was worth it to me. Finally, the document included much personal information, including birth dates and  information on minors. Some in the family had concerns regarding their children or that information available in a public format. 

If you don't know much about choosing a printer, find a friend who does! (My buddy Bill helped me with that and getting quotes, local and otherwise.) I knew printing but I'd been out of that business for many moons!

10) Determining a Quantity

Cousins purchased copies for themselves and their children

I queried my cousins and determined the quantity (25) based on them, what I wanted for myself and a couple extra. It would have made little difference in price if I'd only ordered the bare minimum. Should you be self-publishing for sale, of course, you might want to order more and consider things like a bar code. Your printer will be able to help with that. (Note: If you are self-publishing for sale, have a plan of what you will be doing with those copies before you order them -- query local stores before you order more than you can unload.) 

Once again (and this could matter), I repeat: because my book included sensitive documents and dates, as well as birth and death certificate information that could potentially have security issues (particularly when mentioning the very youngest members of the family who are still children), I did not want a public volume.

11) Then You Wait!

Once you drop your manuscript off at the printers, the waiting begins! First, it's for the proofs. I decided to have PDFs for the first batches of proofs to save money. I proofed it well on the screen (though I could have printed it out and used up a half ream of paper and a lot of ink!). After giving complete notes on what needed to be changed (spelling, grammar, something that just didn't make sense), it went back to the printer who made another PDF. I checked those corrections to be sure they were made, and then read the whole thing again. Of course I found more. So back a second time. Then another PDF and still, a few more. The next time, I had them do laser printouts of just those corrections (by then, there were only about 10 and probably no one else but me would have noticed them. Then I said I was ready for the final. 

At this point, they gave me the full piece and said to make changes on those pages. So, I saw it as the full book -- all two pounds of it! And yes, I still found a few things again!

At some point, you fish or cut bait. I said "Print!" 

 And finally, it arrived at my door!

Front and back covers, packed and delivered from the printer

I could hardly believe that finally, after all those years, it was in my hands!

What a feeling!

Doing this project was loads of fun. I enjoyed the research (I'm still finding new things!) and connecting with the family members -- both those I knew well and the next generations, some of whom I've never met face-to-face. And learning about my family's past was a real gift. If family history is your thing, jump in. Holding it in your hands is a remarkable experience!

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