Autumn at the Ditch

We have been experiencing a surge of glorious, 60s-70s weather and it has been so welcome. Although autumn leaves are beginning to fade and drop quickly, there is still much beauty around my world.

I have enjoyed more than a few walks to the ditch. I'm seeing more bare trees and yes, still a bit of color. 

Those color bursts are like welcome treats as I meander down the path.

I hadn't seen Harry the Heron since I'd returned from the lake. Last year he was here well into November but no matter what time I walked he was elusive. Then one night when the sky was as fuschia as a can of Tab (I am in mourning for Tab), I drove by (without the camera, of course) and there he was! So I was determined to find him again.

And I did. As I sprawled on a bench stretching my hip and back, I looked above and this massive bird was overhead. I leaped up and caught him in flight before landing!

Oh, I was such a happy camper!

There are still plenty of ducks. I swear I saw at least 40 fly overhead on my walk to Rick's last night. They're at the pond, too. 

There is still a fair amount of leaves on some of the trees and I love the rustle as I walk through them, although it appears someone has swept the path. (I learned a long time ago not to walk on Thursday morning when the city maintenance people come through with their machines!)

 This particular tree has leaves that have really hung on. I think it's my new favorite! 

It has been remarkably quiet in the birdsong department at the ditch. I suspect that now people are filling feeders more generously, the birds are enjoying their banquets elsewhere!

 I leave you with a sunny day, blue sky, and November at it's finest.

 And another look at Harry.

I can breathe again. 

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Writing Your Family Story -- Tips and Ideas

For more than five years I've been working on the genealogy of my mom's side of the family and pulling together the stories I've found into a "book" form to share with my cousins and their families.

After hours of research, phone calls and emails with many of my cousins, distant travels and loads of editing and rewriting, it is done. For now.

I consider this a final first draft. As I sent it off to the cousins and their children, I asked them to please let me know if there were corrections or memories that may have been triggered by stories in the book (currently in pdf form, till I hear back).

It clocked in at 300 pages and a little less than 56,000 words, counting the sources and photos. (It would probably be a lot fewer pages with smaller photos, but to me those are important!)

Here are a few thoughts if you are thinking of pulling together your own family story.

Decide on your content style and voice. I don't care all that much about the dates and places, or don't for this purpose. That's fine for the official online family tree. More than fine. Essential. But what mattered to me was the stories -- and when you go back to the 1700s, those can be harder to find. And, I wanted my voice to be conversational, not academic. I want the reader to more or less feel like we are having a talk.

Avoid Confusion. This isn't as easy as it seems! With so many second and third and fourth great grandparents, it was easy to mix up generations (especially when many of them have the same name!). Finally, I decided that any reference would be through my grandparents' perspective. So, J.P.'s great grandfather was referred to in that way, although he would be my mother's second great and my third great. I figured the later generations are smart enough to figure that one out, as long as they know what to look for and it makes it consistent. (Hence, the introduction!)

When doing research, my guess is that you are already mining sites like ancestry, myheritage or familysearch. But don't forget to look not only at census data and similar "legal" documentation but find sites like familysearch.org, hathitrust,org, archive.org and others and google books in which your ancestors might have appeared. I was lucky in that in the 1940s, someone compiled a very full genealogy of this line of the family with names, birthdates and death information, even wills going back to the 1700s. Those make a story.

Speaking of Books -- Tap family Bibles and cookbooks for notes and clippings. A treasure for me is my great grandfather's recipe book. He was a confectioner. I won't be making any of his recipes -- you'd need an enormous, professional kitchen! And a large supply of controlled substances! But I love reading them in his hand.

Tap Your Releatives' Memories -- and Those Who Knew Them. If you are lucky enough to have living parents find out all you can about their lives -- what were their childhoods like, what did they enjoy doing, going, studying? What was life like at home? What were the best and saddest times of their childhoods? How did they meet their spouse? What stories do they remember of their parents and grandparents.

And yes, memories cloud. You may have conflicting information. If you can ferret out a final answer, great but if you can't, list both. (In one case, on a honeymoon location for my aunt and uncle, I took best two out of three memories of my cousins.)

The point is, you're doing the best you can with what you have. People will have different perspectives and that's OK.

As for checking with "the people who knew them," you may find a friend who knew your parent as a child. One of my favorite parts of my "research" was long talks with my mom's childhood best friend who spent summers at the lake with her. She told me so many wonderful family stories, it made that time come alive. Whether it's a friend, neighbor, former colleague -- you may find marvelous information from a conversation.

Check newspaper clippings and other memorabilia you may have in your home. I came from a mom who saved news clips and lots of family ephemera. I learned a great deal about my grandmother who died before I was born by her obituary. News clippings told me of some of the volunteer activities in which my mom and aunt engaged and a wedding announcement for my great grandparents told me a bit about their reception. Some of this is online but check the family lore first. And yes, there are sites like newspapers.com where you can access some of this -- but look home and online first. And don't forget digging through the family Bible or those boxes of drawings and themes that your parents may have saved. The same goes for event programs and letters.

  

Mine letters for information. When my mother was ill, one of my cousins wrote her quite regularly, chatty delightful notes telling about her children and their lives far from my mother's hospital bed. Quoting from those letters not only added color and personality to my story but also said much about the kindness of my cousin and helped tell me more of their family as a young family -- things they didn't think to share when we spoke. Postcards also help tell a story. This one was sent by my grandmother to her neighbor in 1940. I found it at an antiquarian book fair. The card was fun for two reasons -- it showed the cottage area as it was "back then."  

And, it also was the only sample we have our grandmother's writing.

Don't Forget Diaries. I have a stack of about 25 diaries from my paternal grandmother (that's a post in itself!) But from diaries of someone not directly related, I learned the weather on the days that my maternal grandparents died, that one of my cousins had stayed with my other grandparents when her family came to the funeral. They are just little bits that can help enrich your writing and story.

Legal Documents can reveal a good deal. Death certificates can send you back another generation by giving you the name of someone's parents and their birth places. You can also find medical information and cause of death which can be useful in your own history. Other legal documents can help solve mysteries -- we learned my great grandfather was in an asylum for 13 years before he died.

Photos can tell you a lot. Use them in your writing, both as scanned art and to extrapolate information. You will write far livelier descriptions if you have a photo to look at. Did they live on a tree-lined street? What were some of their hobbies? There was no doubt at all when looking at photos of us water skiing as kids or my dad with a pile of fish what some of the family passions were. They give an idea of fashion at the time and a sense of place that words can't alone convey.

Know when to quit -- and when to start again. This can get exhausting. And frustrating (when you send out a request for info and don't get a lot of feedback). So, do something else. Come back to it. I could write more and probably will. But when Covid-19 came along I decided I needed to get a final draft done and distributed so that if I got sick and died that it wouldn't be stuck, incomplete, in my computer.

When I sent it out, I told people to add to it, to tell me things they wanted to include. Then I will print hard copy for people. But for now, stopping is good. It will be equally good when I pick it up again.

Include yourself and your next generation. With something like this it's easy to gloss over your own generation. Don't. The next one will want to know the stories that you and your siblings or cousins shared as much you may want to know your parents. And those memories are the freshest and the ones most easily shared.

Also, find out what you can about your generation's children and grandchildren. It may be sparse. You won't have loads to write about with someone who is still in school or just starting a career. Or eight! But include them and what you know. It is up to them to carry on the story. You are just giving it a head start.

When you're not sure about something, say so. We can often extrapolate information based on location and timing. For example, I don't know why my second great grandparents and their children decided to emigrate from London in the 1850s to America. But I do know that a London cholera breakout occurred within six or eight blocks of their home the year before. I found that fascinating. It may not be why they left, but it may have been a factor. Be sure to indicate if you are making a supposition or educated guess.

It is your story too. So don't forget to include your own memories, anecdotes or experiences. Traveling and discovering the graves of great and second-great grandparents was not only fun but it helped tell the story. I could visualize the road from the house to the Mennonite cemetery by the church and additional research filled in blanks on what that would have looked like back then. You're not telling just names and dates, but stories of lives lived and lost.

Don't forget to include information like an introduction, acknowledgements, appendices, and more. I listed a cast of characters in the beginning from the families involved so readers can go back and say, "now, he was who's son?" I also included scans of death certificates and cause of death, if known, when those weren't available as medical information is important. And do credit the people who helped you because without both moral support and information assistance, it would be a much harder journey. In fact, many of my "cast of characters" shared the best stories of their moms and it made my story all the better for it.

List Sources. You may not have them all, if you collected information some time ago. And this isn't your graduate school dissertation. But if you referred to certain publications or sites for information, it never hurts (and is recommended) to add them. I'm sure you would do a better job than I.

Finally.... some of you may be starting with information already done by another family member! You have options. You can continue simply adding to that or take that information and document and use it as a source to write things your way. 

There are remarkable stories about our family members we never knew -- we just have to find them. I never thought of myself as being from pioneer stock but like descendants of immigrants of the 1700s, I am. In our line we have farmers, business people, artists, weavers, city pioneers. There were Mennonites and mentally ill, candymakers and shoemakers. As I learned about them I found myself researching their occupations and including that information. It helped give context to their lives and stories.

Doing this takes time. Most of the people I know who have become involved in genealogy are older and largely retired. Younger people have children, jobs, and other things eating much of their time. But I would recommend to younger readers to do a couple of things now.

• Save things. Special letters, funeral cards, obituaries, newspaper clips, letters (especially ones that tell something about the person or their times), photos, birth and death certificates, and other information that tells you about someone. You can do it in archival boxes or page protectors or scan items. Just remember to back them up! Media storage will change over time. (Anyone still have 4" floppies you can't access?)
• Talk to the elders. Record them and transcribe or take good notes. They won't be around forever. 
• Record your impressions of others. Were they strong, did they laugh a lot, argue. You'll probably remember most of yours but time changes things.  
• Know your parents' friends and talk to them while you can. Not every friend, of course, but the ones who knew them best. Their memories will make your story richer.  

Don't wait too long. We've seen what has happened with Covid-19, taking more than 232,000 lives in the U.S. alone. A lot of stories died with those men, women and children.

Don't let your stories die when you do.

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Stolen Time

Autumn. A color ride, a stop at the pumpkin farm for cider and donuts. It was a glorious day, the sky that brilliant blue you wish you saw every day. The sun was out and the clouds were puffy. It was a perfect day. Well, almost.

I should be there with two toddlers, taking photos of them with the scarecrow or admiring the pumpkins that were bigger than they were. Then we'd go pick out a pumpkin or two to take home. 

We'd have a donut and cider (I wonder if they like cider?) and they would run far faster than anyone else at that place could.

And yes, they'd definitely be impressed by the tractor!

I'm OK till times like that. Just don't think ahead, go from day to day. "Be like Lizzie"-- think from meal to nap to meal to playtime. Don't think about what you don't have right now, think about what you do. Good enough health, a paid up house, a wonderful life partner, a chatty cat with whom I watch the birds, Netflix and Acorn and more books than I could read in a year.

But in the back of my head I have a bit of anger. It is the anger of stolen time.

I think many of us feel much the same. We are delaying visits with people we love because travel and being with others brings a threat far worse than the disappointment in staying home. If one is 30 or 40 or maybe even 50, it's a big deal in a different way. It's inconvenient and working from home with toddlers, I'm told, is not easy. Nor, have I heard, is online school. We miss casual lunches with friends -- inside. We long for the theatre or movies or the big game. Instead, we take walks by ourselves -- or if we are lucky, with a friend who stays at least six feet away.

But there is next year. And the year after. And probably many more after that.

But when you are in your 60s and beyond, and/or if you have challenging medical "co-morbidities" (one of the scariest words to come out of this, along with "ventilator" and the phrase "dying alone") it's a different deal.

We are being robbed of time when there is less time on the end of the life continuum to make it up. Things are more likely to happen. A devastating fall or diagnosis. Financial issues. Life complications.

Many of us canceled travel this year. I'm supposed to be in England now with a side trip to Paris. On the last trip, I went through the month with ruptured tendons in my foot. It held me back. I was looking forward to not having to deal with that this time. Of course, I might not "hold out" for as long as I'd like, but I might. But with every passing year, who knows? A hip? A knee?  Cancer? We just don't know how many months or years we will be able to get on the floor and play with a toddler or travel the world. None of us do.

I can't even cross the border to visit Suzanne in Canada. She can't come here, either. That may be a good thing. My guest room looks like this. But if they'd open the border, I'd find the bed underneath that quilt in record time.

I don't mean to rant or whine. Well, maybe a little. But I understand all too well that there are those of us who are in far worse straits that I am. I'll miss Thanksgiving and probably Christmas this year. But for many, their holidays will be missing someone who will never come back to the table. Sometimes, and for many, they will be missing two or more people, integral family members, well loved and lost forever except in memory.

I had my annual physical on Friday which went pretty well. I got my flu vaccine and also my pneumonia vaccine booster. No guarantees, of course, but all things considered, a good thing to have. Later that night, the chills started and then throughout the next day, a fever. Normally, I'd just think it was a bug or a reaction to the shots (which is not uncommon) but this time it took two calls to my doc to talk me off the ledge. It wasn't the feeling bad from the lack of sleep that night before. It was the worry of it all, the projecting. The fear that time stolen already was closer to being gone forever.

This week, those of us in the United States who haven't yet turned in their ballot for the elections, will do so. But for four years I have lived, as many have, in a state of anxiety as I've seen our country's reputation become damaged among the world community.

I've seen what Rick calls the "United States of aMErica" at its very worst, with people putting their own selfish wants and needs above the collective good, urged on by one who has done everything in his power to dismantle processes that protect the people, the environment and the country's integrity itself. It's not just the "rich getting richer," it's the poor and middle class falling desperately behind as valued services are reduced. 

The rhetoric is vile and dangerous has an impact as Michigan's governor can tell you. Our international reputation is in tatters as we cozy up to dictators and disregard our longtime allies.

Those of us with health insurance through work or retirement, and/or medicare (and please don't put down socialism if you receive medicare) should not forget that millions of people lack health insurance, meaning attention to serious issues is delayed simply because one can't afford it. Unlike countries that have national health insurance or a "public option," far too many are slapped with devastating bills, leaving them in financial ruin. 

And don't forget the pandemic. Just about everyone I know is stocking freezers and cupboards with sanitizer, disinfecting cleaners and food. 

My best friend from grad school, Tom, now lives in New York but is spending a few days in the metro Detroit area as a poll watcher through the election and if needed after as a legal advisor. He came up for the afternoon and we had (till this photo!) a distanced meet up, talking old times and new. He said that already he has seen attempted voter intimidation and bad mask behavior by those coming to vote.

I choose to vote this year for kindness. For less anxiety. For science and the environment, for health care and for humanity. For respect. For people beyond those in my orbit. My taxes won't go up. Yours probably won't either. But even if they did, aren't some things worth it? I believe they are.

All votes matter. This year they matter more.

Autumn Pleasures -- and a Tasty Treat!

There's so much to love about autumn and this year I am savoring it all the more, knowing my great lockdown will kick in soon enough. (It actually already has, apart from essential things.)

While on my walk I was amused by this gathering of ducks across from the ditch -- and the sign leaning against the tree.

Someone has been leaving seed for the birds there. I like that person!

And this little bird has a "bird's eye" view of everything!

Leaves are tumbling at far too fast a rate for my taste! But they make a wonderful sound when you drag your feet through them.

The squirrels are scurrying with great abandon, hoarding nuts for their winter larder.

This year I feel doubly blessed, seeing gorgeous color up north early in the month, and then this color down state now.

 I stopped at a pumpkin farm that was offering cider and donuts. There were crowds, but not at the cider stand so I masked up and got a treat!

I resisted the mums -- it was hard, but I did!

But they were incredibly lush and full.

But I couldn't resist taking some photos of the brilliantly colored gourds!

 On the home front I've been cleaning the art room and baking a lot -- lemon bread, pumpkin bread and and apple bread. The house smells so good when I bake!

 The clocks are changing soon and darkness will fall earlier.

 

 Be careful out there. The virus is casting a long shadow. Stay safe and well.