December Look Ahead -- Cards, Shopping and Wrapping (Part One)

I'm all for one to not ring in the Christmas/Winter holidays before Thanksgiving is over. OK, the day after Thanksgiving, everything comes out! But some things can be prepped ahead of time and we should at least be thinking of them, so here's an early December Look Ahead!

This is the first of several posts, starting with the things we can do the earliest -- cards, shopping and wrapping.

But before we start, I should say that I know everyone has their own way of doing the December holidays. And those holidays aren't all the same. There's Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and the ever-popular New Year's Eve. Some of us do more than one, others give it all a pass. (Or as Seinfeld would say, "There's Festivus for the Rest of Us.")

And while I do some of these, I don't do all, so if I leave out ideas or traditions that work for your celebrations, please add them in the comments!

Cards

November is a great time to get started on your holiday cards -- unless you want to spend the busiest part of the busy season looking up addresses. (And if you're making them or ordering them, it's absolutely essential!)

Now, I know a lot of people do e-cards and email letters, sometimes for the convenience, sometimes for the cost. Postage is pricey. And I'm glad to hear from anyone in any way they choose to communicate.

But there's something magical about anticipating what might be in the mailbox, seeing a hand written (or computer printed) envelope and open up a pretty card, a newsy note or photo!

Unique cards are fun for special people! Here is part of our recent sale -- some of my cards and my friend Kate's calendars!

My cousin David is a master at writing the tongue in cheek Christmas spoof letter. Everything is true -- and profoundly honest -- and they are always a hoot. This is a skill he inherited from his dad, my uncle Marty, and I'm glad to see the tradition continues. Meanwhile, his sister Mutty and her family always do a creative photo card riffing off of some current event. (I nearly killed them the year they did a take on the Bush-Gore indecision and included a confetti full of "hanging chads" in the envelope! But the card was great!)

So what can you do now? Well, you might not be ready to write your all-inclusive holiday letter, but you can address those envelopes (or look up those email addresses). Word on the street is that there are mighty cute Charlie Brown stamps this year, and getting those in November might save you a chunk of change in December!

And if all else fails, think "New Year's Cards!"

Gifts and Shopping

Here's another thing where everyone differs. I try hard to be done with shopping early in the month, picking up things off and on throughout the year. (And I've never been full-on done till maybe a week before Christmas!) It may not technically save money but it does save shopping angst in the crowds!

Rick, on the other hand, manages to drag me to my least favorite place in the world, the mall, the weekend before Christmas -- or later. These jaunts don't usually yield much except sore feet and a less than Christmassy feeling, but I have to admit I kind of like them. (Not the mall so much, but the doing it together at the festive time, sharing a pizza or whatever we might enjoy that night.)

At our recent sale, Jane had wonderful jewelry. Supporting local artists is always a priority for me.

You may be the Black Friday shopper (not for me!) or the Shop Local person (this is something I try to do) or a Support Your Favorite Local Artist (my favorite way to shop). But here are a few hints to make it a bit easier.

• Comfy shoes! Whether you are walking the mall or the concrete sidewalks, be comfy. You'll go longer and be much less snarky when you get home!
• Plan Ahead! I'm always willing to change my mind if I see something on my shopping trip that overrides my plan, but at least I'm not wandering (the mall, like we do before Christmas!). Make the list and check it twice!
• Keep track of what you already have! How many times have I bought for someone I already "finished?" Too many to count.
• What are you making? When looking at your list, remember what gifts you might be making for someone. Sometimes you are farther along than you think.
• Check for gift card deals. If you are giving multiple gift cards, certain spots (especially restaurants) might throw in a bonus incentive (for which you will be most grateful after walking the mall).

Wrapping

Guess what! If you are relatively organized and have your shopping under control, you can start wrapping now! I swear I am going to do that this year! Believe me, it's the last thing you want to do as the clock ticks down, especially if there is a lot of it. (And remember -- not everything needs to be wrapped!)

Not everything needs to be wrapped! Display can be just as impressive!

If you have a separate area -- guest room, an area out of the way -- you can set up a wrapping station. In most cases, I try to go with a basic color palette so it's easy to match up the ribbons and not keep digging for things. My favorite supplies are tulle (which makes a great bow) and is relatively inexpensive and in lots of colors, generally in the bridal section at a craft store. Wired ribbon is terrific too!

Gypsy was pretty good with presents but Jack, our Jack Russell predecessor was not. We used to embellish packages with Hershey kisses. When only the wrappers were left and no human would 'fess up, we knew Jack, our resident chocoholic, had been at work.

You can also go with the all-brown Kraft paper or white paper and take it from there! The kids can stamp or finger paint on the paper and you can use any ribbon or even something dimensional in place of a bow.

If you have wrapping helpers, remember to keep tabs on the stringier ribbon or items that might get swallowed, wrapped around an intestine and bring you a fortune in vet bills. This did not happen to me, but it did happen to someone I knew once. The cat was OK end the end. The budget after surgery was not.

Gypsy was one for tissue paper and ribbons. If your pet is into this, you've probably already discovered the advantages of keeping it off the floor!

My friend Susan used to always have a wrapping party. Come when you can, bring what you like or need to wrap. She'd have cider, cookies and snacks and we'd have fun while actually getting something done. We brought our own paper but if you're hosting and have some overstock, it's a great way to get rid of it!

Remember, things that need to be mailed should be wrapped first -- get them out of the house as soon as you can so you have more room for the incoming! And you will save a boatload if you get those mailed early and avoid the fed-ex charges! (And yes, I once spent more on mailing than I did on the contents to get them to arrive on time!)

My favorite "toppings" for mailing packages are very simple bows -- a simply tied grosgrain ribbon, twine, or even un-bowed but with a flat embellishment on top. (Old Christmas cards or outdoor naturals are great for this. Just use plain paper and the card image becomes your "bow.") These flat toppings pack well.

In our olden days family Christmases, we used to wrap anything not tied down. It wasn't unusual to find a pair of socks in two packages! Looking under the tree at the abundance of gifts looked almost embarrassing (until you thought about the double wrapping!).

Patty, Mutty, David, me and our pals Gus and Jack-the-Chocoholic, early 1970s. We were big on wrapping anything!

In fact, one of the traditions we used to have was wrapping a gift in an original fashion. Patty (above) once dripped candle wax all over a small square box so it looked like a candle. Aunt Iris hollowed out a green pepper, enclosed earrings and tied it off with a bow. When Mom got on her gingerboy kick (see last photo), Dad made her a giant gingerman and tucked jewelry in a seam (he won!). Everyone did something and we'd vote for small prizes. I miss that!

Time can change things. Time and being "the responsible one." If wrapping isn't your thing, there are a couple of great alternatives -- the ever-popular bags, which are cute and fun and the multiple wrap. A nice big box, some cute tissue and two or three presents that fit and you are doing three in one!

There will always be last minute wrapping (and assembling!) but it's a lot less stressful if most of the work is out of the way. It leaves you time for some fun things, the unexpected moment.

My mother said that my dad offered a most colorful commentary as he was trying to assemble a difficult dollhouse after midnight on Christmas Eve when I was about three or four. I suspect it was probably rated R!

My unexpected wrapping moment came about in 1995 when my neighbor invited me over on Christmas Eve. After dinner and church with friends, I went down the street where he greeted me with a big pile of presents on the table, a mess of wrapping paper and scissors and a frantic look in his eyes. We worked quietly, laughing and smiling while two tousled heads were sleeping in the next room, placed the gifts under the tree and then enjoyed some champagne and Christmas music and a good talk. Twenty years later, Rick and I are still wrapping, stuffing Christmas socks and enjoying the sounds of Christmas. It's one of my favorite Christmas memories.

I've gone on way too long! It's your turn! Share your favorite card/wrapping/shopping tips.

Coming up: Decorating!

Lighting a Candle for Paris

Those of you who have followed the Marmelade Gypsy for a long while know that I have a love affair with Paris. A lot of people do, whether they have been there or not. And so it was with great shock that I learned about the recent terrorist attacks. My heart is broken and I find myself mourning the loss of people I've never met in a city not my own.

As I was searching for a photo for this post, I came upon the one below, taken in the home repair section of BHV. I never felt any danger in Paris during my visit. Signs marked well the "danger" spots -- a tricky staircase, a barricade. Sure, things can happen. A fall, a pickpocket, some sort of accident. But we are aware of these possibilities and suitably vigilant.

Now the people of Paris -- and really, the people of the world -- will find themselves becoming all the more so. There are no signs on a building or steps to warn us that a bomb will explode at a stadium, that terrorists will shoot us at a concert or that joy of dining at a Paris cafe will be obliterated by violence.

As I am grateful to learn of the safety of my Paris friends, I mourn the loss of that sense of bliss, bliss to be replaced by caution. But Paris has survived many terrible events in its time and if there is one thing that I believe with all my heart is that Paris will never stand down.

And we will stand with it.

The Retiring Life

I'd hoped to have the next of the "Look Ahead" posts ready today but I've been cramming for the annual art sale and filling a couple of special orders and so it's not quite ready!

But that's life. And it's a good life.

This morning I was listening to the radio and the last broadcast of one of my WKAR colleagues, Melissa Ingells Benmark, who is retiring after 26 years at the station. (You can see from the comments on the link how much she'll be missed!) Melissa hosted our "Morning Edition" program and was a wonderful radio producer who could tell remarkable stories with only her voice, the sounds of the world and a good interview or two. She's also a wonderful person who is way to young to retire and I suspect someday, somewhere, I'll hear her voice again!

It reminded me that two years and two months from this day -- Friday the 13th -- that I retired from WKAR. When I left I was sick, I was stressed out. Management changes that directly affected my job, layoffs and illness had stopped my happy heart from singing and life felt precarious. I haven't spoken about this often except to close friends but there were days when I would begin to cry before I even arrived at the office, then stay in the parking ramp sobbing in the car, until I could pull myself together enough to go inside. I looked terrible and I felt worse. It was a nightmare.

I was tired. I couldn't sleep and I had little energy left to simply live my life.I'd like to think I put a good face on it but my friends and family will tell you that I'm not that good an actress and make-up only goes so far. I was done in, as they say. Everything gone but the core. And while I'd try to smile, even that was an effort.

It's a strange feeling when you can no longer do well what you love and what you've worked at for so many years. Oh sure, I could still write a good press release, edit a magazine, coordinate events and do pledge breaks with the best of them. But because I felt that I looked terrible, sounded worse and coughed constantly (and let me tell you, I am more than aware of how annoying that is). I felt as if I no longer could be the me I wanted to be.

It wasn't that my colleagues were anything less than supportive. I worked with wonderful people and leaving them was terribly difficult.They were my work family and we were like every dysfunctional family -- we loved, disagreed, supported, helped and learned from each other. But I felt as though I was letting them down -- whether they did or not.

Flash forward.

Yes, there are down days. But I control my time. If I need to sleep in because I had a bad night, I do. If I have to stop in the day to nap, I can (though I rarely do that!). I have time to do the things I'd put on the back burner before. I might take a class or workshop that meets on a weekday, do art while it is light, go to store when it's not crowded, cook more for Rick (and myself), hit Trader Joe's on a weekday, spend long, continuous days at the lake or take a road trip and not have to worry about catching up with anything more than the mail and the New York Times.

Life is good. I haven't been really sick since I retired. There's the this-and-that of life (I just wrapped up a few months of physical therapy for my back and shoulder) but I expect that. To be honest, I expected worse. Yes, life is very good.

Someone told me I should write the book about happy retirement. I probably could but the truth is that everyone's retirement will be different because we are all different and everyone's situation is different. I was fortunate because my university had a fine retirement program and I don't have to panic so much about finances as some. That said, I have plenty of friends who had different retirement plans and they're faring well too.

Why? I think it's largely attitude and activity. I did a blog post shortly after retirement where I talked with several friends who had retired and asked for tips. I took plenty of them to heart.

Here are mine.

Find a hobby or a passion. For me it is art, cooking and my theatre board work. For Rick it will be his bike hikes and practicing his classical guitar. These are longstanding hobbies but yours might be something new, something you discover through taking an adult ed class. Maybe it's a commitment to a volunteer cause you find important. I have one friend who has written five novels since his retirement and repeatedly goes back to revise and improve them, building on what he has learned. That "what" doesn't matter. It's the fact that you are keeping yourself engaged, whether it is physically, creatively, mentally or all of the above. 

Make the effort to keep work friendships. Facebook is fine but not physically interactive. If you liked the people you worked with, don't let them go. I may not do it often enough but I am in touch with work friends and we will periodically have lunch or dinner, just to keep in touch.

At a PBS conference with my colleagues many moons ago. Tim (my office brother) and I meet monthly for lunch and Beany (right, rear) and are in touch often. Unfortunately Mary Jane has passed on and Steve and I are long overdue -- but we keep in regular contact. And those aren't the only ones -- I see a number of my former work colleagues just for fun and catch-up.

Expand the friendships you have. If you have fellow retiree friends, you can go play in the daytime. If they're all still working, find time for lunch, dinner, tea or group activities. For me, it is my Savory Sisters book club, Cork Poppers and individual friendships with a group of wonderful women I've known a long time.

Our Cork Poppers group brought new friends into my life. Now they're old friends!

Do your financial homework ahead of time. For those of you who are far from retirement age, sock something away regularly. If you don't have a retirement plan at your work, this is all the more important. If you are young, event $25 or $50 a month will grow. If you are mid-career, you may need to catch up. The point is, we all will need to budget and plan no matter what but feeling continually deprived is stressful. Wise financial planning may seem like a maze but that path eventually leads to the center. If you plan well ahead of the game you will feel more secure and informed.

Financial planning can be a maze -- if it's not your thing, get good advice -- and save now!

Consider a second career or part-time work.. I always feel good when I get a call from WKAR asking me to do a contract job, whether it is writing a fundraising letter or planning an event. (The pledge breaks I still do are for love!). Perhaps you are using your creative talents in a new way or discovering something new, like my friend Kate who has designed and is selling a wonderful bird calendar and expanding her design skill by taking linocut printing classes.

Or you might be like my former work colleague Jill, who has started a website selling art related to nature and animals. It's brand new and soon you'll see more items for sale there (including some from me!). This was completely new for her -- and she's having a blast with it

You may have a life so full and financially adequate that you don't need or want to do it -- but remember, it isn't too late if that's something that appeals.

It's time to add some fun to your life. You've worked hard so make the most of the days at hand!

A routine isn't a bad thing. Every morning I get up and hit the computer, answering email, checking blogs, doing my own writing. Soon I'll be able to resume spinning classes at the gym. When I'm done with that, the rest of the day happens. I don't mean to block out every minute of your day -- that might be why you retired, so you could read a book at 2:30 in the afternoon! But having a sense of schedule (and keeping a calendar) keeps you honest and active and that's important.

Listen to your body. If you are dealing with physical challenges or chronic illness, listen to the signals and honor them. If that means a nap or altering a schedule, take heed. All of this helps deal with the stress of life. And listen to your body's signals on illness. As we age we are more likely to develop "issues." A bad back, arthritis, internal issues which may (or may not) manifest as a more serious disease. Listen and check it out. If all is well, you're good to go and the mind is relieved. If not, you are on top of things with a far likelier chance for a better prognosis.

Every day when I wake up, I am grateful. I'm grateful to be able to lay in a bit longer, a purring Lizzie snuggled by my head, dozing in and out of "Morning Edition" on the radio. I'm grateful to feel well, to have a wonderful family -- Rick and the kids here, cousins elsewhere. I'm grateful that my life is full of fun friends where our unspoken code is one of mutual support and great fun, listening and playing. I am grateful I have the gift of choosing how to spend my time and adequate -- not extensive but adequate -- resources and very good insurance.



In this month of giving thanks, I have so very much to give. And while I'm at it, I'll give a wish to my friend Melissa and others who are making a transition into new experiences.

Be happy. Be healthy. Find joy and cherish it. Time goes by so quickly. Make the most of every moment.

Nearing Autumn's End at the Ditch

The rainy, cloudy moods of autumn are moving in and our trees are beginning to drop their color, bit by bit. Still bright in patches, there are more bare branches with every day. Before it all disappeared, it was time for a walk to the ditch.

But on this day, the sun was high, the sky blue and it was a perfect way to say "goodbye."



The ducks were plentiful, of course.

Going around any bend one would see a splash of color.

And it was no different when looking up! Or out!

                  

Of course I was hoping for a guest appearance by our resident Harry the Heron and I wasn't disappointed.

I suspect his mental calendar is a bit topsy turvy with this extra-warm autumn!



He was prancing around like he owned the place. And I guess he does!

The lighting was odd -- when I stood in one spot, the water was brown and you could see every lily pad.

But when you shot from a different direction, into the light, the backlighting offered a shimmery blue and silver.

I may see him again this fall, but chances are likely he'll be taking off soon for a warmer climate.

If you see Harry down in your neck of the woods, say hello for me!

Road Trip: Side Trip to Oberlin

When Rick made his bike ride from Lansing to Cleveland (a three-day ordeal) his second night was spent at Oberlin, a small college town about an hour from Cleveland. He was so impressed by the town and college that he wanted to show it to me so we stopped on the way home.

And he's right. The town is charming, though typical. It's a cute college town with a great mid-century modern hotel (that is being torn down for a modern redo) and the typical shops and restaurants you might see in a small town.

But the campus was really special. It's very small and there would be no trouble getting from one class to another in a short period of time! And of course it looked beautiful in the fall on a sunny, crispy, orangey day!

I thought this was interesting. Oberlin was founded in 1833 by Presbyterian ministers (it is a private school). It was the first higher learning institution to regularly admit women and African Americans, beginning in the 1830s. The Oberlin Conservatory of Music was the first of its kind in the U.S. and is internationally renowned. We scouted around the conservatory building trying to find a musician who was practicing but most of the students were on fall break. This is mid-October. I do not understand fall break. Who needs a break after two months of class?

This particular installation greets you outside on the quadrangle. The concept is to look at the world and people from all perspectives and to see the college as a place where those coming from all perspectives can live and work together.

                   

It is a concept that seems ingrained in Oberlin the college and in the town. Although we didn't visit any of these spots on our outing, the town played a key role in abolitionism during the Civil War and was an Underground Railroad site. Today the university carries a progressive reputation and one active in civil, environmental and human rights issues.

The campus is primarily composed of traditional architecture.

However, the music conservatory definitely had a modern twist -- and a very nice concert hall!

And of course, on a lovely day like this, ivy covered halls and changing leaves made for great eye candy! This pretty impressive group of Oberlin alumni probably enjoyed this campus as much as the education!

                     

Then it was back on the road, headed toward home.

A good holiday, fun to see family, discover new places and enjoy the beautiful fall weather. But it's good to be home!