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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Someone Stole My Garbage

Mercury is retrograde, computers and technology are doing odd things. And so are the gremlins. (I must also add that these photos have nothing to do with this post -- they are of our campus waking up for spring, taken last night en route to French class. And you know me -- have to have pictures!)

My doc appointment was at 9 and knowing the morning could be a rush, I thought I'd get myself together and get the trash out at night. Usually I just have a big plastic bag from the kitchen and sometimes the bin in the garage where I toss bigger things. But trust me, it's all garbage.

I was a little nervous leaving the plastic bag, concerned about raccoons or animals breaking in. Since I had one big bin I'd been filling over the winter with things like the Christmas wreath, unopened junk mail, old dirt from dead flower pots -- that sort of thing -- I put the two bins side by side with the big bag on top. Not a sure bet, but any critter would have to work for it.

Well, rise and shine, throw open the curtains. My two garbage bins are laying empty on the lawn, the big bag is gone. And if case you wonder -- garbage collection isn't till the afternoon. Today it came at 2:30, the company confirmed for me. (2:28, if you want to be specific.) And no, it wasn't even spread out on the streets, like a prank. Just gone. If I didn't see the cans, I would have wondered if I actually put it out.

Now, this was not the kind of trash that people poke about in, finding something wonderful. We're talking about more used and contaminated Kleenex than a soul can imagine from every wastebasket in my house and the car litter bag, too; cat poop; empty soda cartons and clementine boxes; yard clippings; and a hefty dose of science experiments from the fridge.

The township police were amused. I'm just flummoxed.

And if you should think the weirdness stopped there -- think again. Laying on the doc's table the fire buzzer goes off. After continuing for a bit, we decide to evacuate with the rest of the building... and about a half hour later return to complete the job. (Missing a meeting, but that's just that stormy sea called life.)

First e-mail I check -- my collage class scheduled for tonight had had some cancellations and she asked if we could reschedule. By this time, I was so ready for a night off, my answer was "you bet!"

I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe.

Maybe I should go feed the ducks and get some duck therapy (what we here at MSU call our free psychiatric benefits -- a pretty river, hungry ducks).

Stop by at Chopsticks and String if you're interested in a post on the most recent "Maisie Dobbs" book.

22 comments:

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

Days like that are truly telling that it's best to just get a good book and go back to bed.
Now who would want to steal someones garbage? Can you imagine the police calling you "uh, Ma'am. we've located your refuse would you like to prosecute?"
Have a GOOD night!
XO

Mae Travels said...

Let's start a short story that begins with a garbage disappearance like yours. Only plot line I can come up with: mistaken identity. Someone is being watched or suspected of using the garbage can to conceal something, so the watchers take the garbage.

Another plot possibility: the non-you culprit intended to transfer some contraband item to a confederate, but the poor confederate picked up your used kleenex instead of the thing he really wanted. Oh well. I'm no Agatha Christie.

Marilyn said...

Strange indeed! I thought maybe you were making this up, but then I thought why would someone take all your garbage. Negative mind that I sometimes have thinks identity theft or hoping for a credit card number. Now wouldn't it be stranger yet, if they brought it back? Very strange, yes indeed!

Barb said...

Stolen garbage that's actually garbage seems kinda creepy, doesn't it? I hope you shred all evidence of your identity before putting it in the bin. Your day makes a great story, though...

Retired English Teacher said...

Maybe the thief or thieves thought that one man's garbage, is another's treasure. I think they will be disappointed.

A fire alarm at the doctor's office, stolen garbage, a canceled class all in one day would make anyone wonder what on earth is going on. I can't resist...Are you looking into Aflac Insurance?

Dogwood said...

Funny~who would want your garbage? Maybe little four legged guys? But as you say, why wasn't it spread all over you yard.
What a day you had.
Smile and laugh.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Well wow. that is just freaking bizarre, right? I mean, who take garbage??? Now that is a mystery novel in the making, eh? ;)

What an odd week for you!

christinemyoung said...

wow ~ so glad you chose to take care of you and went home :) ~ what a day!

Ruth said...

Ah, Mercury retrograde. I didn't realize. Things haven't been going too haywire for me, knock wood. This is the first I've heard of duck therapy!! :-) I'll have to get this started around the English department. I tell ya, some of these guys really could use some. Me too, but I get it, going out for a campus walk at least once a week.

Richard said...

If Mercury is retrograde, maybe it means the garbage will show up in another part of your life.

Joanne Huffman said...

hmmmm...maybe it was one of those alien scientific probes and they're going to make all their decisions about invading/colonizing earth based on your garbage. I'm assuming the doctor's office wasn't burning down and that it was just some sort of misfire (couldn't resist the pun) in the electrical system.

qugrainne.com said...

Toooooo funny, Jeanie. I think the FBI has their eye on you.... what have you been up to lately?
Or maybe a college student is doing an art project on...hmmmmm or a science experiment...
Well, at least they didn't leave a mess.
Hope life is running more smoothly for you at the moment.

Karen Owen said...

At least you can't say that life is boring. The MSU campus is lovely.

Sugar Bear said...

Sounds like a potential identity theif. Make sure to always tear up or shred anything with identifying info on it - including the mailing labels from catalogs.
Karla

Annie said...

I love the campus photos. I should take a stroll around CSUS Sunday and see what the ducks are up do.

Relyn said...

How odd. How really, really odd.

Vagabonde said...

There are some strange happenings in your corner of the world.

Naturegirl said...

Strange happenings indeed! Garbage theft??? Love the images that you posted..especially of the ducks!

Oh said...

Love this. Hilarious and...strange! (about the garbage.) Hmmm....

Yes, yes, feed the ducks. Such a royal duck couple you captured with your camera.

I will go see what you're reading on C&S and will confess that at the moment, when there is a moment to read, it's a bit of chick lit that was "free" on my Nook.


Hope all is well and hope you set up a garbage-cam when you put it out next time. It would be interesting to see what occurs out there on the curb!

Rosa said...

How odd. Perhaps they thought you were famous and are trying to sell your trash on Ebay! lol

~*~Patty S said...

curiouser and curiouser....

mercury in retrograde does seem to reeking havoc everywhere one looks...we'd better fasten our seatbelts as it is due to go on for a bit longer I believe
Love how you wove non garbage pics into your post...I'm with you Jeanie..I can hardly do a post without photos...eye candy is always fun...

do this may just be another of the universe's mysteries
oxo

jet1960 said...

I was thinking looking for ways to steal your identity but it doesn't sound like you were giving them anything like that to work with. Weird, indeed!

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